Analysis of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone has 78 scenes and there are 9 major characters: Harry, Hermione, Ron, Dumbledore, Malfoy, Hagrid, Snape, Quirrell, and the Dursleys. (I’m counting a major character a someone who moves the plot forward in at least one significant way, so the Dursley family counts, but only as a unit.) The page numbers are based on the Slytherin version of the 20th anniversary edition.

 

 

Setting the Stage

 

Meet the Dursleys – (Pg. 1)

We’re introduced to the Dursleys in their normal lives. Mr. Dursley notices strange things happening around town and asks Ms. Dursley if they might be related to her unusual sister. He mentions that her sister has a son. Ms. Dursley gets upset and Mr. Dursley drops the subject.

 

The Only Family he has Left – (Pg. 9)

Albus Dumbledore meets Professor McGonagall outside the Dursley’s home. They discuss the fall of Voldemort and the celebrations in the wizarding world. McGonagall asks if the rumors about the death of Harry’s parents and his own miraculous survival are true. Dumbledore confirms they are. He says that he’s leaving Harry with the Dursleys (despite McGonagall’s protests) because they’re all the family Harry has left. Hagrid arrives with Harry and they leave him with a note on the Dursley’s doorstep.

  • This scene evokes the ‘infant exiled from their rightful kingdom’ archetype described by Joseph Campbell. Harry is in good company, along with Moses, King Arthur, Sigurd, Romulus and Remus, Hercules, Oedipus . . . well, perhaps we should just stop with Hercules.
  • The scene also shows that Harry is special even in a world of wizards. From the moment he survived the Dark Lord’s attack he was clearly touched by destiny and is meant for great things. 

 

Key Takeaways:

  • The exiled infant trope is the oldest of the old. One might consider avoiding it for fear of cliche, but Rowling proves that with a quick haircut and some modern clothes, it assimilates effortlessly into a modern story. While we need to make them fit the setting,we shouldn’t be shy about incorporating these archetypes into our work.

 

Ordinary World

 

Dudley’s Birthday – (Pg. 19)

Rowling describes changes in the home to show how much time has passed. Harry wakes up in the cupboard under the stairs. It’s Dudley’s birthday, and the Dursley’s greed and sadism are on full display.

  • Rowling continues her archetype grand tour with the Evil Stepmother (or in this case, Evil Step-Parents).

 

The Zoo – (Pg. 25)

Due to a series of unexpected events, Harry must be included in Dudley’s birthday trip to a zoo. Uncle Vernon warns him not to cause any trouble, and Rowling explains that strange things have a way of happening around Harry. At the zoo, Harry finds that he can speak with one of the snakes. Dudley notices the snake’s strange behavior and shoves Harry to the ground as he rushes to see. When Harry hits the ground the glass disappears and Dudley flees in terror. Uncle Vernon flies into a rage and banishes Harry to his cupboard as soon as they return home.

  • Yet again the story unfolds as Campbell predicts – before the hero crosses the first threshold they have some minor adventures that show they’ve been touched by destiny.

 

Harry Dreams of Freedom – (Pg. 31)

After the incident with the snake, Harry is punished by being sent to his cupboard with no dinner. Harry reflects on his parent’s deaths and his miserable life with the Dursleys. He muses about the strange people who occasionally come and introduce themselves to him, and has a recurring dream of someone coming to take him away.

 

Harry’s Life Continues to Suck – (Pg. 33)

Harry continues to be punished for the incident with the snake. Dudley and his gang harass Harry over summer break. The Dursleys prepare for Dudley to go to a private school. Harry is condemned to go to the local public school and be humiliated with Dudley’s hand-me-downs. 

 

Key Takeaways:

  • Heroes’ childhoods tend towards extremes. Either it’s awful and the hero must escape, or it’s idyllic and the hero is cruelly torn from their happy home. Harry Potter manages to nearly have both: the loving and peaceful life he would have had with his parents is destroyed by Voldemort, which throws him into the malicious care of the Dursleys.
  • When you look at it, the Dursleys are almost absurdly villainous. They’re greedy, stupid, cruel, petty, and just plain spiteful. I’m always tempted to tone down parts of my writing that I fear are approaching caricature, but the Dursleys show that you can paint a pretty extreme picture and the audience will follow along so long as you’re traveling down a familiar story path.
  • While Harry’s life is severely unpleasant, Rowling never has to stray into actual child abuse to make her point. Rather, it’s the contrast with Dudley that makes Harry’s mistreatment really sting.
  • Don’t read too much into this, but humans really don’t like snakes. Why this is the case can be left to evolutionary psychologists, but for our purposes it’s enough to simply note that if we want to imbue a monster with a bit more gravitas, have them look like (or simply be) a snake. Imagine, for example, if the zoo scene had Harry talking to an alligator. Snakes and alligators are both dangerous, predatory lizards, so on the surface it seems like they should be interchangeable, yet somehow it’s just not quite the same.

 

Call to Adventure

 

Letters from No One – (Pg. 36)

The mail arrives and Dudley forces Harry to get it. Harry finds, to his great surprise, a letter that’s addressed to him. Before he can open it Dudley notices the letter and Uncle Vernon takes it from him. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon panic when the see who the letter is from, and refuse to let Harry read it.

  • At least according to J.K. Rowling, there’s really no point in being subtle about the call to adventure. Harry receives a letter that almost literally says, “Hey, want to come on an adventure?” When that doesn’t work, a giant comes and breaks down his door. 

 

The Letters Continue – (Pg. 39)

Uncle Vernon gets home from work and Harry demands to see his letter. Vernon refuses. For an unknown reason he starts acting more kindly towards Harry and gives him Dudley’s old bedroom. Dudley throws a fit, but Uncle Vernon remains unswayed. Harry reflects that yesterday he would have given anything to be in a real bedroom, but now he would rather be in his cupboard with his letter than in the bedroom without it. A new letter arrives the following morning, addressed to Harry’s new residence in the smallest bedroom. Uncle Vernon seizes the new letter and destroys it.

 

Letters for Days? Letters for days. – (Pg. 41)

Harry wakes up early and sneaks downstairs to try to get the mail before Uncle Vernon can take it. He accidentally steps on Uncle Vernon, who had been sleeping by the front door to prevent this exact plan. When the mail arrives there are three letters for Harry, and Uncle Vernon rips them all to pieces. Hoping to stop the letters, Uncle Vernon stays home from work and nails the letter-box shut. Despite this letters continue to arrive, eventually culminating in a storm of letters pouring through every crack into the house.

  • COME . . . ON . . . YOUR . . . ADVENTURE!

 

‘Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night . . .’ – (Pg. 44)

In the face of the postal onslaught, Uncle Vernon starts to have a mental breakdown and forces the family to flee their home. The letters still find Harry wherever they go, and eventually Uncle Vernon takes them to an island shack. A storm rolls in and Harry realizes that the next day is his birthday. Just as the clock strikes midnight someone starts pounding on the shack’s door.

  • There’s no reason that this scene had to unfold as it did. In fact, when one examines it, it doesn’t make any sense. Take the example of the countdown to Harry’s birthday. Surely there’s no reason that Harry’s letter needed to be delivered the exact second he turned 11. It would have been more pleasant for everyone, Hagrid included, if he’d waited until the storm is over and delivered the letter during normal business hours. He might even have chosen to step in before the Dursleys reached the island shack and saved everyone a great deal of trouble. But the theatricality makes the scene memorable, so any fear of tawdriness in our writing should be strictly secondary to the drama. 

 

The Big Friendly Half-Giant – (Pg. 50)

Hagrid arrives. Uncle Vernon tries to confront him with a rifle, but Hagrid easily disarms him. Hagrid gives Harry a birthday cake, starts a fire to warm the shack, and cooks some sausages for Harry. He chats with Harry and eventually realizes that Harry doesn’t know anything about Hogwarts or the wizarding world. After shouting at the Dursleys for a bit he tells Harry he’s a wizard and gives him the Hogwarts acceptance letter. We’re told of the Dursley’s deception, Harry’s parents, and their deaths at the hand of Voldemort. Uncle Vernon gathers his courage and tries to insist that Harry is not going to Hogwarts, but when he insults Dumbledore Hagrid loses his temper and curses Dudley with a pig’s tail. Harry and Hagrid leave the island shack together.

  • Hagrid is clearly the Herald, letting Harry know that it’s time for his former life to end and accept his destiny.
  • The end of this scene is fascinatingly awkward. Hagrid gives Harry his coat and it just fades to black. You think I’m kidding? This is the exact quote:

“It’s gettin’ late and we’ve got lots ter do tomorrow,” said Hagrid loudly. “Gotta get up ter town, get all yer books an’ that.’

He took off his thick black cloak and threw it to Harry.

“You can kip under that,” he said. “Don’ mind if it wiggles a bit, I think I still got a couple o’ dormice in one ‘ the pockets.”

-Chapter 5-

Harry woke up early the next morning. -(Pg. 65-66)

  • This is the best example I’ve found yet for the power of audience expectations. We all know what happens next in this type of story, so Rowling can skip all the details about what happens when Harry actually leaves with Hagrid and the audience just rolls with it.
    • My brilliant wife offered an alternative (or perhaps supplementary) explanation, which is that as we’ve seen with Dudley, it’s the comparison that matters. It’s fine for the hero to leave with an unknown and potentially dangerous person so long as it’s a upgrade over their previous situation.

 

Key Takeaways:

  • The book continues to flawlessly follow Campbell’s monomyth as Harry struggles to overcome the Threshold Guardians – the Dursleys.
  • Hagrid shows us that if you want the audience to like a character, have them offer food. There’s something so primal about this that it makes even the giant, bearded man who broke down the door in the middle of the night seem friendly. If you don’t believe me, try to reimagine the scene without Hagrid giving Harry cake and sausages. The rest of the scene can play out exactly as it does in the book, but without the gift of food it’s almost impossible to accept that Hagrid is really trustworthy.
  • We shouldn’t be shy about theatricality. Perhaps it’s just me, but I’m always leery of writing a scene like Hagrid arriving at the very moment Harry turns 11, for fear that I’m straying into the tastelessly contrived. Yet even when I re-read the scene with a critical eye it doesn’t seem that out of place. Apparently the audience (myself included) has a high tolerance for this sort of drama, and I should stop worrying quite so much about practicality in a book about wizards.
  • Holy infodump Batman. Hagrid spends 15 pages inundating the audience with backstory, yet no one complains because it’s all done through conversation. The friction between the Dursleys, Hagrid, and Harry keeps it interesting, and I suspect most readers never noticed that this entire scene is a worldbuilding lecture on fast-forward.
  • Every hero’s journey faces a hard transition point: why does the hero decide to leave their ordinary world behind for the fantastic danger of the world of adventure? It’s not a decision that most people would make, so it demands some serious consideration. In Harry Potter, Rowling’s answer is to make life with the Dursleys so intolerable that almost anything is an improvement.

 

*Refusal of the Call*

  • There’s no real ‘Refusal of the Call’ event in Harry Potter, but it’s worth noting that Harry’s first reaction to Hagrid’s arrival is to insist there’s no way he can be the hero Hagrid claims. This self-doubt serves a similar purpose to a true refusal of the call by showing Harry is humble and making him more human.

 

Supernatural Aid

 

Did a bearded giant just kidnap an 11 year old? – (Pg. 66)

Harry wakes up the morning after Hagrid’s rescue. Through various small events and conversation we’re introduced to wizard currency, Gringotts Bank, the Ministry of Magic, dragons, and Hagrid’s desire to own one.

 

Diagonally – (Pg. 72)

Hagrid takes Harry to the Leaky Cauldron, where the patrons fawn over the famous boy. From there they enter Diagon Alley and go to Gringotts bank. Harry discovers he has a massive family fortune and takes the money needed for his school supplies. Hagrid picks up a mysterious package from vault 713.

  • The scene in the Leaky Cauldron is important reassurance that Hagrid’s tale is true.

 

Shopping trip – (Pg. 82)

Harry and Hagrid purchase Harry’s school supplies. Harry meets Draco Malfoy and through an contentious conversation Harry learns about Quidditch, the Hogwarts school houses, and anti-muggle racism. Hagrid buys Hedwig for Harry (say that three times fast) and Harry receives his wand from Mr. Ollivander. Ollivander tells Harry that his wand is the twin of Voldemort’s.  

  • When Rowling introduces Malfoy she says she reminds Harry of Dudley. By drawing on an earlier villain, she quickly establishes Draco as Harry’s primary antagonist.
  • There’s a weird sort of wish fulfillment in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, and it starts in this part of the book. It’s not enough for Harry to just be a wizard; he’s also famous, wealthy, with a powerful wand and an exotic pet – the list just goes on and on. I’m not yet certain how to interpret this. Perhaps it’s a key part of the book’s success, because it feeds the reader’s fantasies. Who wouldn’t like to (through no effort of their own) be suddenly granted wealth, skills, and social status? Wish fulfillment clearly isn’t a requirement for writing a successful story, but I can’t quite shake the feeling that it’s an easy and cynical way to make a book more appealing. So long as the character seems to deserve their good fortune due to past wrongs, the audience will enjoy seeing all the things they wish would happen to them happen to the character.

 

Moment of doubt – (Pg. 92)

Hagrid buys Harry dinner and Harry confesses that he feels like an impostor. Hagrid reassures him that everyone starts from the beginning at Hogwarts and he’ll do fine. He gives Harry his ticket for the Hogwarts Express and puts him on the train back to the Dursleys.

 

Key Takeaways:

  • If a character is going to do something unexpected or dangerous later in the story, the author should set it up early on. Fortunately, as Rowling shows, this is not hard to do. Just having Hagrid say, “Crikey, I’d like a dragon. -Wanted one ever since I was a kid . . .” is enough. His desire is never mentioned again until Norbert steps on stage.
  • There seems to be a moment when Rowling realizes that it makes no sense for Harry to go with Hagrid. He has no reason to trust the giant besides Hagrid’s jovial good nature, and it’s far more likely that Hagrid is a dangerous lunatic than a wizard. She covers rough patch by saying:

It was just an ordinary street full of ordinary people. Could there really be piles of wizard gold buried miles beneath them? Were there really shops that sold spell books and broomsticks? Might this not all be some huge joke that the Dursleys had cooked up? If Harry hadn’t known that the Dursleys had no sense of humour, he might have thought so; yet somehow, even though everything Hagrid had told him so far was unbelievable, Harry couldn’t help trusting him. – (Pg. 73)

  • I’ve also struggled with this problem, and although Rowling presents a possible solution, I suspect it’s not applicable outside of fairy-tale type stories. Even a small prick of realism lets the air out of simply claiming, ‘the hero couldn’t help but trust him.’  Explaining how and why the hero comes to trust their new allies is one of the trickiest transitions in a hero’s journey, so while I’m noting Rowling’s approach, I’m going to keep looking for alternatives.

 

Crossing the First Threshold

 

The last month with the Dursleys – (Pg. 94)

Harry lives out his last month with the Dursleys. The adults ignore him and Dudley is scared of him, so he mostly just hangs out with Hedwig in his room.

 

Asking for a ride – (Pg. 95)

Harry asks Uncle Vernon to drive him to King’s Cross station. His uncle grudgingly agrees. Uncle Vernon asks for the platform number and where Hogwarts is located. When Harry can only tell him, ‘Platform Nine and Three-Quarters,” Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon mock him.

  • The name ‘Platform Nine and Three-Quarters’ brilliantly captures the spirit of Rowling’s world. I’m reminded of the opening line of 1984: “It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.” From the moment you read that line you know you’re not in a sane or rational world anymore. Platform Nine and Three Quarters shows the fun and quirky nature of the wizarding world while still keeping it grounded in reality.

 

Platform Nine and Three-Quarters – (Pg. 96)

The Dursleys drive Harry to King’s Cross station. The drop him off between platforms 9 and 10, and Uncle Vernon mocks him again, saying that they apparently haven’t built platform Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. The Dursleys abandon him at the station.

  • This is almost the moment that Harry crosses the first threshold, because once the Dursleys abandon him at the station there’s no turning back. It doesn’t quite count tough, since Harry hasn’t yet committed himself to going on his adventure. He still has to prove his conviction by passing through the barrier between platforms 9 and 10.

 

The Weasleys – (Pg. 98)

Harry overhears a group of wizards commenting on all the ‘muggles’ in King’s Cross. As he watches, they start running one by one through the barrier between platforms 9 and 10. Harry approaches and asks for help. He’s introduced to Ron, Ginny, and Ms. Weasley, and Ms. Weasley explains that to get to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, he needs to run directly at the barrier between platforms 9 and 10 with no doubt that he will pass safely through. Harry obeys her instructions and passes through the barrier. The Weasleys realize who Harry is and react according to their personalities. Harry boards the train.

  • On page 104, Rowling tells us: ‘Harry felt a great leap of excitement. He didn’t know what he was going to – but it had to be better than what he was leaving behind.’ This is further evidence that her answer to the question of why Harry goes on the adventure is to escape the misery of the Dursleys.

 

Key Takeaways:

  • Rowling continues to take each step of the hero’s journey as literally as possible. The hero needs to cross a threshold to enter the supernatural world? No problem, Rowling has him literally run at a barrier and pass through it. She also directly invokes the leap of faith element that so often accompanies crossing the first threshold – if Harry doesn’t believe that he’ll pass through, he’ll bounce off the wall between platforms 9 and 10.

 

Tests, Allies and Enemies

(Get comfortable, we’re going to be here a while)

 

On the Hogwarts Express – (Pg. 104)

Ron joins Harry in his cabin on the Hogwarts Express. Harry learns about Ron and the Weasleys. The two eat candy and Harry learns about Dumbledore through a chocolate frog. The Dumbledore card mentions Nicolas Flamel, but he takes no notice at the time.  The two boys meet Hermione while she’s looking for Neville’s toad. Ron mentions in passing that someone tried to steal something from Gringotts. Malfoy and his minions confront Harry and Ron, and try to convince Harry to avoid hanging out with the ‘wrong type’ of wizard. Harry says he’ll decide who the wrong type of wizard is for himself. Hermione arrives after Malfoy leaves and chastises them for fighting.

  • Once again, we see how sharing food leads to an almost instant bond.
  • This is Harry’s first Ally: The Best Friend. When we’re introduced to Ron we quickly find out that he’s poor, has second-hand everything, and feels like he’ll never live up to the standard set by his older brothers. Harry, in turn, is alone and bewildered by his new environment.  By sharing their problems and helping one another the two almost immediately become friends. Harry also gets a chance to show his hero’s spirit by standing up for Ron when Malfoy comes to taunt him. All in all it’s a brilliant example of how to introduce, develop, and form a relationship with a new character.
  • I find it interesting that Malfoy has two minions of his own in Crabbe and Goyle. Harry, Ron and Hermione eventually form a triumvirate (a model I’ll describe in a future post, which can also be observed in Luke/Han/Leia and Neo/Trinity/Morpheus). Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle are a corrupt version of the triumvirate, where Crabbe and Goyle are merely the servants of Malfoy.

 

Entering Hogwarts – (Pg. 118)

Harry arrives at Hogwarts and meets Hagrid. Hagrid takes all the first-years to boats and brings them to the castle.

 

The Sorting Hat – (Pg. 121)

The first-years arrive in the entrance hall and meet Professor McGonagall. She explains the four Hogwarts houses, house points, and the House Cup. McGonagall leaves and Harry and Ron meet ghosts for the first time. McGonagall returns and brings them to the Sorting Hat. The Sorting Hat considers putting Harry in Slytherin, but Harry asks to be placed anywhere else. The Sorting Hat eventually agrees and Harry joins Gryffindor along with Ron and Hermione.

  • The Sorting Hat is a test of Harry’s character, where he must choose to reject evil and follow the heroic path. (Before anyone says that Slytherin house is not evil, remember that for this post I’m only considering Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. While Slytherin becomes more nuanced later on, in this book the Gryffindor/Slytherin rivalry is very obviously a question of good vs. evil).

 

The Feast – (Pg. 131)

Dumbledore gives a short speech and the students enjoy a feast. Harry meets several of the secondary characters. Harry’s scar starts to hurt and he misinterprets it as coming from Snape. Dumbledore gives a closing speech about not using magic outside of classes, Quidditch tryouts, and the forbidden third-floor corridor. The students sing the school anthem.

  • Thank Christ the school anthem is never mentioned again.

 

Dormitories and the dream – (Pg. 137)

Percy guides the Gryffindor students to their dormitories after the feast. On the way he chases off Peeves the Poltergeist. Harry has a dream that basically reveals the entire plot.

 

Life at Hogwarts – (Pg. 140)

Harry begins his life at Hogwarts and everyone takes notice of the famous boy. As Harry attends his classes Rowling gives us a paragraph or two on each of the teachers and other major figures at Hogwarts. Harry gets a letter from Hagrid and they set up a meeting for tea.

 

Snape – (Pg. 145)

Harry, Ron and Hermione have double potions class with Professor Snape. Snape harasses the Gryffindors throughout the class, with particular enmity towards Harry. He unfairly takes two points from Gryffindor for things that Harry didn’t do.

  • Snape is Harry’s first real enemy after the threshold guardians: The Oppressor. The Oppressor is someone in a position of power over the hero, and does whatever they can to hinder, humiliate, or otherwise persecute the main character.
  • This scene teaches a fascinating lesson: the villains in Harry Potter are primarily defined by their unfairness rather than the actual damage they cause. Snape, Filch, Malfoy and the Dursleys do little to lasting harm to Harry, but by treating him unfairly (especially with foils like Dudley and Malfoy around for contrast) the audience dislikes them with an intensity that’s completely disproportionate to the injury caused. This is a valuable tool and well worth remembering: if you want the audience to really hate someone, make sure they’re unfair first, and cruel second.

 

Tea with Hagrid – (Pg. 149)

Harry and Ron have tea with Hagrid. Harry fumes about Snape’s unfairness and Hagrid tries to claim it’s all in Harry’s head, but can’t meet his eyes when he says it. Harry sees a newspaper that talks about the Gringotts break in, and realizes that the vault it mentions is vault 713. He wonders what Hagrid took and who is trying to steal it.

  • This scene crystallizes another of Harry’s tests: a Mystery. The Mystery test involves a piece of knowledge that the hero must somehow uncover, usually though not always to prevent or punish a misdeed. It’s more long-term than many of the hero’s other tests, and, as the mystery genre obviously shows, can form the foundation for an entire story. If there’s any single problem that dominates the tale of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, it’s the struggle to discover the would-be thief.

 

Draco, the Rival – (Pg. 153)

The Gryffindors and Slytherins have a class to learn to fly broomsticks. Neville suffers an accident and breaks his wrist. Madam Hooch orders the students to stay off the brooms while she brings Neville to the infirmary. After she leaves Malfoy gets on his broom and takes Neville’s Rememberall, intending to leave it in the top of a tree. Harry gets on his broom and finds he’s a natural flyer. He confronts Malfoy and demands that he give back the Rememberall. Malfoy spitefully throws the Rememberall in the air, and Harry dives to catch it. He manages to grab it just before it hits the ground, but Professor McGonagall arrives and starts to scold Harry for flying without supervision. The other Gryffindors try to defend Harry to no avail. McGonagall leads him away, and Harry is convinced he’s about to be expelled.

  • Draco Malfoy and Harry have never gotten along, but this is the first scene that makes the rivalry explicit. Malfoy will continue being the anti-Harry for the rest of the series. This is probably a good baseline for a Rival: when in doubt, make them the opposite of the hero.
  • Harry shows off his heroic qualities again by coming to the defense of a friend. (Well, the property of a friend, but the principle’s still there.)

 

Everything’s coming up Potter – (Pg. 161)

Professor McGonagall takes Harry to meet Oliver Wood, the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. She tells Wood how Harry caught the Remberall after a fifty-foot dive, and recommends him for a position as the Gryffindor Seeker. As the conversation ends, McGonagall tells Harry that his father as also an excellent Quidditch player and would have been proud.

  • I suspect that Harry’s father being a Quidditch player is more important than it appears at first glance. For one thing, Harry’s skill at Quidditch is completely undeserved. He just hops on a broom and is great at it. The suggestion that Harry inherited his skill helps smooth this over.  The family connection also starts to flesh out Harry’s identity. Before this we know very little about Harry besides that he’s apparently the chosen one. He hasn’t shown any particular skills or interests, and we know nothing about his family. Learning that James Potter played Quidditch and Harry seems to have inherited his skill helps fill in the blank slate.

 

The new Seeker – (Pg. 163)

Harry tells Ron about his new position as the Gryffindor Seeker. Ron reacts with disbelief and amazement.  Fred and George come up and introduce themselves as the Gryffindor Beaters. They mention secret passages in and out of the school. Malfoy and his minions come to mock Harry and challenge him to a wizard’s duel. Ron, in a fit of passion, accepts on Harry’s behalf, and they make arrangements to meet Malfoy after everyone’s supposed to be in bed. Hermione overhears their conversation and warns them against breaking the rules, but the two boys dismiss her.

 

The Wizard’s Duel – (Pg. 165)

Harry is nervous before the wizard’s duel, but he and Ron still leave the Gryffindor common room at the appointed time. Hermione intercepts them on the way out and continues to berate them for breaking the rules. The door to the Gryffindor dormitory closes behind them, locking all three of them out. Much to the boy’s dismay, Hermione decides to go with them so she can tell whoever catches them that they decided to break the rules and she tried to stop them. Just outside the Gryffindor dormitory the trio finds Neville, who had forgotten the password to get inside. The four head to the duel location together. When they arrive, they discover that Malfoy is nowhere to be found. Instead, the Hogwarts Caretaker Argus Filch is lurking about, looking for students out of bed. Our heroes try to sneak away, but Neville trips and knocks Ron into a suit of armor. The four students run for the hills and wind up near the Charms classroom. While they catch their breath, Herminone points out that the entire thing was a trap set by Malfoy. Peeves the Poltergeist finds the four students and starts shouting, alerting Filch to their location. They escape through an unknown door and manage to avoid getting caught, but find that the room they just entered contains a massive, three-headed dog. Harry realizes that they’re in the forbidden room on the third floor corridor. Our heroes escape just before the dog attacks. Filch has already moved on and they flee back to the Gryffindor dormitory. As they talk about the dog, Hermione says that it was standing on a trap door, and Harry realizes that this must be where the package from vault 713 was taken.

  • This is another test for Harry, what I’ll call ‘Tricked!’ The hero faces a ‘Tricked!’ test when another character fools them into doing something against their own interest. If at all possible, the hero should be fooled because of their personality or character. In this story, Harry’s recklessness and rulebreaking had been consistently rewarded before this scene, and this is the first time that his hotheadedness gets him in trouble. He escapes by pure luck, and learns a valuable lesson about keeping his cool in the future. 
  • Discovering the three-headed dog is random happenstance, but it’s critical for advancing the plot. It’s good evidence for rule 19 from Pixar’s 22 Rules of Storytelling: “Coincidences to get characters into trouble are great; coincidences to get them out of it are cheating.”
  • Having Hermione notice the trap door is a good way to convey information without the main character figure it out themselves.  If there’s information that the audience needs but the hero doesn’t possess, just have another character say it.

 

Quidditch practice – (Pg. 175)

Malfoy is surprised when Harry and Ron are still at school the following day. Harry tells Ron about the package from vault 713. Harry’s broomstick is delivered and sparks more small dust-ups with Malfoy and Hermione. Harry meets Wood for practice and learns the rules of Quidditch.

  • The wish fulfillment continues. It’s not enough for Harry to just be a wealthy, famous, boy savior – he also needs to be the star of the Football team with a sports car broomstick

 

Charms class – (Pg. 183)

Harry realizes that he’s been at Hogwarts for 2 months, and that it feels more like home than living with the Dursleys ever did. He learns a simple charm for levitating objects in Charms class, but neither he or Ron can quite get the knack for it. Hermione masters it easily, and Ron says something mean about her without realizing she’s close enough to hear.  Hermione runs off in tears. She’s missing for the rest of the day, and Harry and Ron overhear some of the girls mention she’s crying in the bathroom. Ron feels guilty, but the two boys put it out of their minds as Halloween celebrations kick off.

  • Ron’s guilt is a critical part of the upcoming scene. It’s not enough that Hermione is in danger – if that was all, he could just tell a teacher or Prefect and let them sort it out. It’s because he’s responsible for putting Hermione in harm’s way that Ron (and more importantly, the audience) feels a moral obligation to help get her out.

 

Halloween – (Pg. 185)

The Halloween celebrations are interrupted when Professor Quirrell runs into the Great Hall, screaming that a troll is in the dungeon. The Prefects take the students back to their dormitories, but Harry and Ron sneak away when they realize that Hermione doesn’t know about the troll. While the rest of the teachers rush to the dungeon they see Snape heading for the forbidden third floor corridor. They encounter the troll – who had since left the dungeon – and manage to lock it in a room. The moment the door closes they realize that the room is the girl’s bathroom and Hermione is inside. They rush in and have a brief battle with the troll, which finally ends when Ron uses the levitation charm to knock it out with its own club. The teachers arrive and Hermione lies about why they were there to protect Ron and Harry. The three become friends.

  • While it’s lighthearted and even somewhat comical, at its heart this scene is a test of Harry’s battle prowess. It’s the first time (well, first time since he was an infant) that he faces an enemy who really will kill him if it can, and that he has no choice but to use violence to defeat. Because of this, I’m titling the test: Battle!
  • If you want fast friends, put the characters in a position where they must protect each other. We’ve already seen this when Harry protects Ron from Malfoy. In this scene, Harry and Ron protect Hermione from the troll, and she protects them from the wrath of the teachers.
  • Hermione doesn’t join the triumvirate until more than half-way through the book. This suggests that major characters can join the hero quite late in the story, so long as they’ve been established beforehand.
  • Hermione is a new ally for our hero: The Expert. The Expert has skills that our hero lacks (and in most cases will never possess), but for some reason lacks the character, supernatural empowerment, or touch of destiny to become a hero in their own right.

 

Fluffy’s chew toy – (Pg. 193)

October rolls into November, and it’s started to get cold. Harry is preparing for his first Quidditch game. Harry, Ron and Hermione are walking around the Hogwarts grounds when they see Snape going somewhere. He has a limp. Snape confronts the trio and spitefully takes Harry’s book on Quidditch.

 

Paging Dr. Filch – (Pg. 195)

Harry goes to the staff room to ask Snape for his book back. Snape doesn’t answer when he knocks on the door, so he opens it. He finds Filch administering medical care on Snape’s mangled leg. Their conversation reveals that Snape was trying to get past the three headed dog. Snape notices Harry and shouts for him to get out. Harry runs back to the Gryffindor dormitory and tells Ron and Hermione what he saw.

  • We seem to get 1 clue about who’s trying to steal the stone for every one or two major events in the story. There may be a golden ratio of sorts here, and I’ll keep an eye out for it when I analyze mysteries.

 

Before the game – (Pg. 197)

It’s the morning of Harry’s first Quidditch match, and Harry is too nervous to eat.

 

Harry’s first game – (Pg. 197)

The students head out to the Quidditch field. Harry’s friends have signs supporting him. In the locker rooms, Wood gives the Gryffindor team a pep talk. The game begins. Harry spots the Snitch, but is fouled by a Slytherin player and loses sight of it. Unexpectedly, Harry’s broom begins to buck, and soon it’s all he can do to avoid falling to his death. Ron, Hermione and Hagrid realize something’s wrong. Hagrid comments that the only thing which can affect a broomstick is powerful dark magic. Hermione sees Snape focusing on Harry and muttering under his breath. She thinks he’s jinxing Harry’s broom and rushes off to interrupt him. On the way she knocks over Professor Quirrell. Harry regains control of his broom and races for the ground. On the way down he accidentally catches the Snitch in his mouth, giving Gryffindor the win.

  • There are two tests here, the first of which I’m calling ‘Sportsball.’ In Sportsball the hero takes part in a competition that, though the stakes may be high, has enforced rules and a clear win/loss condition. This distinguishes it from Battle!, where the only real rule or goal is defeating the opponent.
  • The second test is an Assassination Attempt. Someone has it out for the hero and makes a determined attempt to kill them. In these situations the hero often doesn’t have a good way of fighting back, so just surviving is a victory.
  • The only reference to Quirrell in this scene is: “she didn’t even stop to say sorry as she knocked Professor Quirrell headfirst into the row in front.” It goes to show that the audience only needs the slightest foreshadowing to roll with even an extreme plot twist.

 

In Hagrid’s hut – (Pg. 205)

The trio gather with Hagrid in his hut. Hermione explains what she saw with Snape, and Hagrid denies that Snape would try to kill Harry. The trio tell Hagrid that Snape was mauled by the three headed dog. Hagrid asks how they know about Fluffy and says that he’s the one who gave the dog to Dumbledore. He accidentally lets slip the name ‘Nicolas Flamel.’

  • Yet again, the plot moves forward through coincidence. If Hagrid hadn’t mentioned the name Nicolas Flamel, our heroes would have been dead in the water.

 

Who knew that wizards observe Christmas?- (Pg. 207)

Winter comes to Hogwarts. Malfoy mocks Harry about not having a family to go back to during the break. After a potions class, Harry, Ron and Hermione are chatting with Hagrid when Malfoy shows up and insults Ron’s family. Ron starts fighting with him. Snape arrives and takes some points from Gryffindor. After Snape and Malfoy leave, the trio tell Hagrid they’re going to the library. He asks why and they tell him they’re looking for Nicolas Flamel. Hagrid tries to warn them off without success. Despite their best efforts the trio can’t find who Nicolas Flamel is. Harry wanders into the restricted section of the library but is quickly shooed away by Madam Pince. Hermione leaves for the winter break, while Ron stays.

 

Hogwarts for the Holidays – (Pg. 213)

Harry and Ron enjoy themselves over the Christmas break. On Christmas morning, Harry is surprised to find that he received presents. The presents are from his new friends at Hogwarts. The last gift he opens was delivered anonymously and contains his father’s invisibility cloak. The other Weasley brothers show up and Harry hides the cloak.

  • The invisibility cloak is Rowling’s answer to the limitations of tight third-person narration. We never see anything that Harry isn’t directly present for, so the cloak lets him get into the places that are otherwise off-limits.

 

The Invisibility Cloak – (Pg. 218)

Harry enjoys a tremendous Christmas dinner. He goes back to the dormitory with Ron, and once Ron falls asleep he sneaks out with the invisibility cloak. He heads to the Restricted Section of the library to look for information on Nicolas Flamel. The Restricted Section is creepy as hell. When opens a book it starts to scream, and in seconds Filch arrives. Using the invisibility cloak Harry slips away, but Filch summons Snape and the two search the area. While escaping Harry loses track of where he is and finds himself in a room with a mysterious mirror. When he looks at it he sees ghostly people, and eventually realizes they’re his parents. He’s filled with great joy and sadness. Eventually he manages to tear himself away from the mirror, but promises to return.

  • Before rereading the book I never noticed how heavily Rowling relies on the device of ‘our heroes are out of bed after hours, nearly get caught, and stumble across something important as they flee.’

 

Harry’s brief heroin habit – (Pg. 225)

Harry tells Ron about the mirror and promises to show it to him. At this point they assume the mirror simply reflects a person’s family. Harry is completely preoccupied with the mirror and can’t focus on anything else.

  • The Mirror of Erised is a test of Temptation, much like the sirens faced by Odysseus. As with everything else in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone it’s almost shockingly direct.  Harry simply finds a Magic Temptation Mirror™.

 

Harry, Ron, and the mirror – (Pg. 225)

Harry takes Ron to the Mirror of Erised. When Ron looks into it, he sees himself as Head Boy, captain of the Quidditch team, and otherwise highly successful. They start arguing over who gets to look in the mirror and attract the attention of Filch’s snooping cat. They hurry away before she can summon Filch. The next day Ron tells Harry not to go back to the mirror, but Harry ignores him.

 

It’s 23 degrees out at time of writing, so socks sound pretty good – (Pg. 228)

Harry goes back to the mirror for a third night. Just as he’s settling down in front of it Dumbledore appears. Dumbledore says that he’s been watching Harry and explains that the mirror shows nothing but the viewer’s most desperate desire. He tells Harry that he should be careful not to dwell in dreams and forget to live, and that if he ever encounters the mirror again, he will be prepared to face its temptations. Harry asks Dumbledore what he sees when he looks in the mirror, and Dumbledore answers with a polite lie about socks.

 

They’ll let anyone be a referee these days – (Pg. 231)

After seeing his parents with the Mirror of Erised, Harry starts to have nightmares about their deaths. Hermione returns from winter break. Quidditch practice starts again. Wood drives the team hard, and eventually reveals that Snape is going to referee the next Quidditch game. Harry tells Ron and Hermione, and they start trying to think of ways for him to avoid playing in the match.

 

The leg-cramp curse – (Pg. 233)

Neville interrupts their conversation by hopping into the Gryffindor common room. He’s been afflicted with a leg-lock curse, and after Hermione performs the counter-curse he says it was done by Malfoy. Hermione wants him to tell Professor McGonagall, but Neville says he doesn’t want any more trouble. Harry offers him a chocolate frog. It contains the card about Dumbledore, which mentions that Dumbledore has partnered with Nicolas Flamel.

  • Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone is a stunning example of how much coincidence the audience will tolerate. There’s scarcely an instance where the plot advances due to the cleverness or insight of our heroes. In fact it’s quite the reverse – their attempts to discover things through research or investigation usually turn out to be a complete waste of time. So remember kids: hard work and determination . . . are nowhere near as important as being lucky.

 

Take a look, it’s in a book, A Reading Rainbow!  – (Pg. 235)

Hermione leaps up and gets a book. The book says that Nicolas Flamel is the creator of the Philosopher’s Stone and gives a brief outline of the stone’s powers. The trio assumes that Snape wants the stone out of greed and a desire for immortality.

 

Alan Rickman probably could read minds – (Pg. 237)

Harry decides he’s going to play in the Quidditch match. Potions class with Snape somehow becomes even more miserable. Harry half-believes that Snape has figured out they know he’s trying to steal the Philosopher’s Stone.

 

The Match – (Pg. 238)

Ron and Hermione give Harry a somber send off before the Quidditch game. They go into the stands and are prepared to curse Snape if it looks like he’s going to hurt Harry. To Harry’s relief Dumbledore attends the match; he knows no one will dare try to hurt him while Dumbledore is present, allowing him to focus entirely on the game. During the game Malfoy comes and taunts Ron and Neville, which sparks a fistfight. Snape’s refereeing is heavily biased against Gryffindor, but Harry quickly finds the Snitch and manages to secure victory in less than five minutes. The Gryffindors are overjoyed.

  • This is another very brief Sportsball test.

 

Snape and Quirrell’s ‘conversation’ – (Pg. 241)

Harry is alone in the changing room after the game. He sees a hooded figure leave the castle, headed for the Forbidden Forest. He recognizes the figure as Snape and follows on his broomstick. He tracks Snape to a shadowy clearing where Snape confronts Quirrell. The parts of the conversation that Harry overhears suggest that Snape is trying to coerce Quirrell into helping him get past Fluffy. Harry goes back to the Gryffindor common room and tells Ron and Hermione what he saw.

 

Schoolyard days – (Pg. 245)

Our heroes do what they can to help Quirrell resist Snape’s supposed coercion. Exams are coming up and Hermione makes them spend a lot of time in the library studying. One day in the library they meet Hagrid as he’s leaving with something hidden behind his back. He asks if they’re still looking for Nicolas Flamel, and they tell him how much they’ve already discovered. He shushes them and tells them to meet him in his hut later rather than talk about it openly. They agree, and Ron goes to see what books Hagrid was checking out. The books are about dragons. Harry says that Hagrid always wanted a dragon, and Ron replies that dragons are quite illegal.

 

The dragon egg – (Pg. 248)

Harry, Ron and Hermione meet Hagrid in his hut, which Hagrid is keeping unusually hot. They ask what’s guarding the Philosopher’s Stone besides Fluffy. At first Hagrid refuses to say, but after some flattery explains that each of the professors placed an enchantment protecting the stone. When he says that Snape was involved with crafting the defenses the trio worry it means Snape already knows how to get through the other professor’s spells. Hagrid dismisses their fears, and they take some solace in the knowledge that only Hagrid and Dumbledore know how to get past Fluffy. They spot something in Hagrid’s fireplace and realize it’s a dragon egg. Hagrid says that he won it in a card game. He explains his plan to take care of the dragon, and is too enamored with it to take their doubts seriously.

  • This is another challenge for Harry and co to face: A Friend Makes a Mistake. It has two characteristics I find especially valuable. First, it’s a chance to push the hero into a situation they’re not well equipped to deal with. Harry’s previous problems have been things like Quidditch, Malfoy, schoolwork and research into the Philosopher’s Stone. He’s fairly well equipped to deal with these, but a baby dragon? That’s completely beyond his competence. Second, there’s an immediate hook for the reader. The defining element of a hero is that they help other people, and this lets the character do so in a non-abstract way. Harry’s overarching goal of saving the world from the Dark Lord is certainly noble, but it’s too vague and impersonal to hold a reader’s interest for long. Hagrid, by contrast, is someone we know and care about. We don’t want anything bad to happen to him, so Harry’s struggle to help his friend has a visceral feel that the ‘saving the world’ plotline rarely manages to inspire.
  • This scene applies all-important time pressure by saying: “Harry knew Ron and Hermione were thinking the same as he was. If Snape had been in on protecting the stone, it must have been easy to find out how the other teachers had guarded it. He probably knew everything – except, it seemed, Quirrell’s spell and how to get past Fluffy.” (Pg. 249) By showing that the villain is close to achieving their goal, the hero has to to act quickly to stop them.

 

Malfoy is why we can’t have nice things- (Pg. 251)

At breakfast, an owl from Hagrid delivers a note saying the egg is hatching. Ron and Hermione argue about whether to go see it right away and Malfoy overhears them. The trio go to Hagrid’s and watch as the dragon hatches. They hear a noise at the window and see Malfoy running back to the castle. He’s seen the dragon.

  • Why have the hero just face one challenge at a time? The appearance of the Rival compounds A Friend Makes a Mistake, and saves the author from having to introduce new characters to ruin Hagrid’s plans for Norbert.

 

Norbert – (Pg. 253)

Malfoy is smug for the following week. Hagrid names the dragon Norbert. Harry, Ron and Hermione encourage Hagrid to get rid of the dragon, but he refuses because Norbert is too young to survive on his own. Harry remembers that Ron’s brother Charlie studies dragons, and they send him an owl asking if he can take Norbert.

 

Deus Ex Brotherica – (Pg. 254)

Another week goes by and Ron gets bitten by Norbert. Hedwig returns with Charlie’s answer: he can take the dragon, but needs them to get it to the top of the tallest tower in Hogwarts so some friends can pick it up. Although it will be risky, Norbert has become so disruptive they decide they have no choice.

  • Charlie’s job with dragons is only mentioned once, but even that single reference is enough for the audience to consider it plausible that he’ll step in from off-stage and save our heroes from the dragon.

 

Hogwarts is pretty lax about hospital visitors – (Pg. 255)

The hand that Norbert bit swells up and Ron is forced to go to the hospital. Malfoy comes by to mock him and takes the book that has Charlie’s note, revealing their plan to give away the dragon. Harry and Hermione go to Hagrid’s and tell him about the plan.

  • Pixar’s rules of storytelling continue their diabolical reign: the book Malfoy steals coincidentally has Charlie’s note in it, for no other reason than to make life harder for our heroes.

 

How to ditch your dragon – (Pg. 257)

Harry and Hermione pick up Norbert from Hagrid. The lug the dragon to the top of the tower just in time to watch Professor McGonagall catch Malfoy as he waited to mess up their plan. Charlie’s friends arrive and the dragon transfer goes off without a hitch. Harry and Hermione are so elated they forget the invisibility cloak at the top of the tower. They’re caught by Argus Filch.

  • Norbert shows that plot arcs don’t need to be long to be memorable; it’s only 13 pages from the first time we see the dragon egg till Norbert is whisked away.

 

McGonagall lays down the law – (Pg. 260)

Harry and Hermione are brought before Professor McGonagall. Neville, who had been caught out of bed trying to warn our heroes about Malfoy, is also there. McGonagall gives them all detention and takes 150 points from Gryffindor.

 

The darkest hour – (Pg. 262)

Harry, Hermione, and Neville are ostracized after the disastrous point loss. Harry and Hermione decide to stop meddling in things that aren’t their affair and focus on their exams.

  • This is a test I’m calling Ostracized. Our hero is blamed for something that earns the ire of their community, and they make him miserable until he finds a way to make up for it.
  • In a book I’m reading called Save The Cat!, the author suggests that the middle of a story needs either a low point where everything’s gone wrong, or a false high point where the hero believes they’ve gotten everything they’ve ever wanted (only to discover their success has left them more miserable than before). In this story, Rowling gives us an excellent example of the former.
  • This low point is probably why Dumbledore giving out points like candy at the end of the book doesn’t seem unfair. It’s simply karma reasserting itself once the heroes’ good deeds have balanced out the bad.

 

If you see something, say something – (Pg. 264)

A week before exams start, Harry walks by a classroom and hears Quirrell pleading for mercy with someone inside. Quirrell seems to capitulate and runs out of the room. Harry tells Ron and Hermione what he saw. Hermione says that they should go to Dumbledore, but they think Dumbledore won’t believe them. Ron suggests they do some ‘poking around’ – the chastened heroes shut him down.

  • In a hero’s journey with child characters, the adults cannot be reliable. If they are, the children can simply go to them and they’ll fix everything. Child heroes must be (or at least believe) they’re on their own.

 

Detention – (Pg. 266)

Harry, Hermione, and Neville get their detention notices. They meet Filch and Malfoy at the appointed time and Filch takes them to Hagrid’s hut, taunting them along the way. Filch tells them they’re going into the Forbidden Forest before Hagrid shoos him away. Malfoy objects, but Hagrid tells him he has to go if he’s going to stay a student at Hogwarts. He explains that something has been killing unicorns in the Forest and they’re going to find a unicorn which has been injured.

They split into two groups, one led by Hagrid and the other by his dog Fang, with instructions to use their wands to send sparks if they get in trouble or find the unicorn. Harry, Hermione and Hagrid encounter something that might be the unicorn killer, but it leaves before they can get a look at it. They meet centaurs named Ronan and Bane and Hagrid asks if they’ve seen anything unusual.  The centaurs won’t give a straight answer. After the centaurs leave, the other search party – Neville, Malfoy, and Fang – send up sparks, and Hagrid hurries off to help them. It turns out that Malfoy scared Neville as a joke and Neville sent up the sparks. A furious Hagrid rearranges the groups and sends Harry off with Malfoy and Fang.

Harry’s new group finds the unicorn. It’s dead, and the hooded figure is drinking its blood. Malfoy screams and runs, as does the cowardly Fang. The hooded figure advances towards Harry and his scar paralyzes him with pain. He’s saved by a centaur named Firenze, who tells him he should leave the Forest as soon as possible. He lets Harry ride on his back. They meet the two centaurs from earlier and the centaurs argue about whether it’s appropriate for Firenze to help a human. After they leave, Firenze explains to Harry that unicorn’s blood can save a person even if they’re an inch from death, but that it curses them to a mere half-life. While he avoids explaining directly, he guides Harry into realizing that the only person desperate enough to take that bargain is Voldemort, and that the power of the Philosopher’s Stone could restore him to full strength. Firenze drops Harry off with Hagrid and the other students.

  • This is the last major challenge Harry faces before we enter the Approach to the Inmost Cave. I’m not entirely sure how to classify it, because it’s a sort of mini-adventure in its own right. Harry’s trip into the forest has tests, allies and enemies can’t easily be teased apart, and brings to mind Jim Butcher’s use of the Big Middle. (For more information on the Big Middle, see Jim’s brilliant series of blog posts here). Because of this, for the time being I’m going to call this sort of self-contained adventure a Big Middle.
  • Harry’s meeting with Firenze has many of the trappings of a visit to the oracle. The centaurs are stargazing fortune tellers, and Firenze gives him the information he needs to eventually overcome the villain.

 

It’s a good thing Dumbledore wants Harry to have that cloak – (Pg. 279)

Harry and Hermione get back from detention, and Harry tells Hermione and Ron about what he saw in the forest. They take some consolation in the knowledge that Dumbledore is the only wizard Voldemort was afraid of, so he wouldn’t dare try to take the stone while Dumbledore is around. When Harry gets back to his bed, he finds the invisibility cloak with a note that says: “Just in case.”

 

Voldemort never strikes during Harry’s exams – he understands the importance of a young person’s education – (Pg. 281)

Harry, Ron and Hermione have their exams.

 

What, you mean you don’t just carry around a dragon egg? – (Pg. 283)

Exams are finally done, but Harry’s scar continues to hurt. He wonders if it’s a sign that danger is coming. While he, Ron and Hermione are hanging out after the exams, a thought suddenly comes to him and he hurries to Hagrid’s. While Ron and Hermione try to keep up, he comments on how strange it is that someone who Hagrid met in a bar just happened to have a dragon egg. At Hagrid’s he asks about the man who gave Hagrid the dragon egg, and Hagrid says that the man didn’t reveal his identity. Harry asks if Hagrid talked about Fluffy with the stranger, and Hagrid says he did. He says that he told the stranger about raising Fluffy and that if you play some music the dog falls right to sleep. Hagrid realizes with horror that he just told the trio how to get past the three-headed dog.

 

McGonagall never follows up on how they found out about the stone – (Pg. 286)

Harry and company rush to see Professor Dumbledore, but Professor McGonagall tells them that Dumbledore just left on business for the Ministry of Magic. She asks why they have to see him so urgently and Harry tells her it’s about the Philosopher’s Stone. She’s stunned, and Harry explains that someone’s going to try to steal the stone. McGonagall assures him that the stone is far too well defended to be stolen.

  • The adults continue to be unreliable. Dumbledore goes missing at just the moment he’s needed most, and McGonagall doesn’t believe our heroes when they tell her about the plot to steal the stone. If the world’s going to be saved, the kids have to do it themselves.

 

All for one and one for all – (Pg. 288)

After leaving Professor McGonagall the trio run into Snape. He questions what they’re doing inside and threatens to have them expelled if they’re caught out after hours again. Our heroes come up with a plan to have Hermione follow Snape while Ron and Harry guard the out-of-bounds corridor, but it quickly falls apart. Harry resolves to get the stone first. Hermione and Ron are incredulous, but Harry points out that stopping Voldemort is more important than anything else. Ron and Hermione decide to go with him.

  • This scene makes it clear what the consequences of failure will be. Voldemort’s been in the background for most of the book, so Rowling takes a moment to remind the audience what’s at stake before our heroes head to the showdown.

 

Key Takeaways:

  • I can’t be certain it was deliberate, but the story sticks almost fanatically to the Hero’s Journey. For example, Harry could easily have spoken with Ron before crossing the first threshold at Platform 9 ¾, but instead they don’t say a word to each other. His new Ally only appears once he’s entered the world of adventure. 
  • With the exception of mystery fans, the audience probably won’t notice our hints. For example, Harry’s dream on page 137 is painfully obvious in hindsight and more or less reveals the entire plot. Yet I imagine most readers don’t even remember it, and even fewer recognized it as important the first time through.
  • The ‘Life at Hogwarts’ section starting on page 140 is exposition without conversation (blasphemy!), but Rowling still interweaves it with small events from Harry’s first days at Hogwarts. She also keeps each part of it quite short, dedicating only a paragraph or two to the people or things she describes. This suggests that if one absolutely must exposit outside of a conversation, we can still avoid an infodump by giving the information in short bursts.
  • I hadn’t realized it before, but a lot of the book is about Quidditch. Most of the rest is about sneaking out of bed.
  • It seems to be better to have many short, intense problems. For example, the Norbert fiasco is one of the most memorable parts of the book, but the entire thing is over in just 13 double-spaced pages.

 

These are all the tests, allies and enemies that Harry faces:

Ally: The Best Friend – Ron
Test: A Test of Character – The Sorting Hat
Enemy: The Oppressor – Snape
Test: A Mystery – Who’s trying to steal the Philosopher’s Stone?
Enemy: The Rival – Draco Malfoy
Test: Tricked! – The Wizard’s Duel
Test: Battle! – The Troll
Ally: The Expert – Hermione
Test: Sportsball – Quidditch
Test: Assassination Attempt – Harry’s broom during the Quidditch match
Test: Temptation – The Mirror of Erised
Test: A Friend Makes a Mistake – Norbert
Test: Ostracized – Losing 150 points for Gryffindor
Test: The Big Middle – Detention

 

Approach to the inmost cave

 

Neville Longbottom deserves his own book series – (Pg. 291)

After dinner, the trio prepare to go after the stone. Neville sees them getting ready to leave and confronts them, saying they can’t afford to lose any more points for Gryffindor. He’s even prepared to fight them to keep them from leaving, so Hermione hits him with a full body-bind curse.

 

Approach to the inmost corridor – (Pg. 293)

Our heroes head for the forbidden corridor. On the way they avoid Mrs. Norris, and have to trick Peeves the Poltergeist by pretending to be the Bloody Baron. 

 

Key takeaways:

  • While the Approach to the Inmost Cave is short in this story, it still involves our heroes overcoming two major challenges: one of conviction, and the other of trickery.

 

The Ordeal

 

‘I get by, with a little help, from my friends’ – (Pg. 295)

Harry, Ron and Hermione reach Fluffy’s room. A harp has been left by Fluffy’s feet, showing that someone has already gotten past the dog. Harry uses the flute that Hagrid gave to him to put the dog to sleep and the trio jump through the trapdoor. They fall into a predatory plant that tries to envelop them, but with some inspiration from Ron, Hermione uses fire to make the plant let them go. The next room has a locked door and is filled with flying keys. Our heroes use broomsticks to catch the right key and continue moving forward. They find themselves on a giant chessboard and take the place of three of the pieces. Ron is skilled at chess and guides them to victory, but has to be taken in the process. The enchanted chess pieces knock him out and Harry and Hermione must continue without him. They pass by a troll who’s already been knocked unconscious. When they enter the next room magical fire covers the way in and out, and they must solve a riddle involving potions to move forward. Only one person can cross the final threshold, so Harry moves on while Hermione goes back to help Ron and warn Dumbledore.

  • The flute Harry uses to get past Fluffy likely counts as a piece of supernatural aid, though he receives it slightly after that section. Like the string that Theseus uses to get through the Labyrinth, it’s a talisman that allows the hero to overcome one specific challenge.
  • One by one the Harry is separated from his allies, until he must face the villain alone.

 

What a twist! – (Pg. 310)

Harry reaches the final room, and to his shock finds himself facing Professor Quirrell. Quirrell uses magic to tie Harry up and taunts him about misinterpreting who was trying to steal the stone. Quirrell is trying to bypass the last of the stone’s defenses: the Mirror of Erised. Harry tries to distract Quirrell to keep him from focusing entirely on the mirror.

 

Key Takeaways:

  • Harry’s meeting with Quirrell is nearly four solid pages of exposition. But, you guessed it, it’s done via conversation between antagonists, so it doesn’t feel like an infodump.

 

Reward

 

Harry the stoner – (Pg. 314)

A sinister voice tells Quirrell to use Harry to get the stone. When Harry looks in the mirror it shows him his heart’s desire – getting the stone before Quirrell – and the Philosopher’s Stone magically appears in his pocket.

 

Showdown with the Villain

 

That two-faced bastard! – (Pg. 315)

Harry lies about what he saw in the mirror and Quirrell casts him aside, but the sinister voice tells Quirrell that he’s lying. It demands to speak to Harry face to face. Quirrell unwraps his turban and reveals the face of Voldemort, parasitically melded with the back of his head. He taunts Harry about killing his parents and knows that Harry has the Philosopher’s Stone in his pocket. He tells Harry to hand over the stone and Harry refuses. Voldemort commands Quirrell to seize Harry, but Quirrell’s skin blisters at the touch. Voldemort tells Quirrell to just kill Harry and be done with it. Harry keeps hold of Quirrell to prevent him from forming a killing curse, but the pain from his scar grows so excruciating he falls unconscious.

 

Key Takeaways:

  • Again we find that the villain is not defeated by a clever trick or the hero’s skill at arms. Voldie loses to the power of love.

 

The Resurrection

 

The only expositor Voldemort ever feared – (Pg. 318)

Harry wakes up in the hospital wing. Albus Dumbledore is sitting by his side. They discuss Harry’s friends, the fate of the Philosopher’s Stone, Nicolas Flamel, Voldemort, Quirrell, why Quirrell couldn’t touch Harry, the Invisibility Cloak, Snape, and how Harry got the stone out of the mirror.

  • The small bit of humor at the end of this scene is critical for wrapping it up. After Harry wakes, the rest of the scene is one long Q&A session. Dumbledore’s silliness with the Every-Flavor Beans provides a smooth transition out of the most direct infodump in the book.

 

The triumvirate reunited – (Pg. 323)

Madam Pomfrey, the hospital matron, lets Ron and Hermione have a brief meeting with Harry. He explains what happened when he faced Quirrell and Voldemort. They tell Harry how Dumbledore was already back by the time they got out of the dungeon and how he seemed to already know everything that had happened. Harry muses that Dumbledore probably knows almost everything that goes on in Hogwarts, and that instead of trying to stop them he gave them the tools they needed to succeed  

 

If there was another Dark Lord, would everyone call him you-know-two? – (Pg. 325)

Against Madam Pomfrey’s better judgement, Harry gets permission to go to the end of year feast. Before he leaves the hospital Hagrid comes to visit him. Hagrid is beside himself with guilt for telling Quirrell/Voldemort how to get past Fluffy and putting Harry in danger. When Harry uses the name Voldemort Hagrid tells him not to say the name aloud, and Harry shocks him out of his melancholy by shouting the name as loud as he can. Hagrid gives Harry a book of photographs of his parents that he collected from their friends and colleagues.

  • This scene is the clearest example of Harry’s Cambellian ‘death and rebirth.’ After facing the villain and returning from an apparent death, he’s now brave enough to, like Dumbledore, call evil by its name.
  • It also puts Harry back in touch with his heritage. As you know I’m leery of peering too deeply into the symbolism abyss, but one has to notice that Hagrid only gives Harry the picture album after Harry’s rebirth. Call it a coincidence if you want, but I’m taking notes. 

 

Return with the Elixir

 

#slytherinwasrobbed – (Pg. 327)

Harry goes to the end of year feast. The hall is decorated in the colors of Slytherin, who everyone thinks will win the House Cup. Dumbledore stands up to give a speech and says that some last minute points need to be awarded. He gives Ron 50 points for overcoming the giant chess set, Hermione 50 points for solving the potions riddle, and Harry 60 points for outstanding courage. Each announcement is met with explosive cheers from everyone except Slytherin. The bonus points bring Gryffindor to a tie with Slytherin. After a dramatic pause Dumbledore awards the final points: 10 points to Neville Longbottom for being brave enough to stand up to his friends. Everyone (again except for Snape and the Slytherins) celebrates Gryffindor winning the House Cup.

  • The elixir is the thing that the hero brings back to benefit their community. In this case, it manifests as the last-second win for Gryffindor. Defeating Voldemort and saving the world is nice and all, but the palpable reward Harry carries out of the dungeon is 160 points for Gryffindor.

 

See you next year, Harry! – (Pg. 330)

Harry, Ron and Hermione get their exam results back. Harry and Ron both passed, while Hermione was top of the class. The end of the year arrives and they all leave Hogwarts aboard the Hogwarts Express. They’re given notes saying that they’re not allowed to use magic over the summer. Uncle Vernon picks up Harry and Hermione is shocked at how unpleasant he is. Harry gives her a wicked smile and says that the Dursleys don’t know he’s not allowed to use magic, so he’s going to have a lot of fun with Dudley over the summer.

 

Final Thoughts:

J.K. Rowling is a master of the chapter break. She opens many of her chapters with brief recaps of the larger setting, such as the hero’s schoolwork or the miseries Dudley inflicts on Harry. She knows she can’t focus on this wide-angle view for too long, so after 2-3 pages she brings the focus back to the specific characters.

Analysis of The Matrix

Let’s start with the numbers. The Matrix has 75 scenes and there are 5 major characters: Neo, Morpheus, Trinity, Agent Smith, and Cypher. The film follows the hero’s journey archetype to a T, so I’m using the hero’s journey model as outlined in my post here.

Setting the Stage

 

Morpheus believes he is the One (0:44)

Trinity and Cypher talk about monitoring Neo while the machines try to trace their location.

  • This is an extraordinarily elegant scene. It avoids the film faux-pas of having a narrator drone out backstory (or even worse, making the audience read a summary), while still explaining all the critical story elements in less than 40 seconds.
  • The exposition is kept interesting by presenting it through a conversation. It earns bonus points by having the conversation between people who disagree.

 

The Agents and police chase Trinity (1:27)

The police and Agents find Trinity and she must fight her way to the exit from the Matrix

  • This scene finishes the work that the opening dialogue started, introducing the villains, superpowers, and key features of the world (such as the exits in and out of the Matrix).

 

Key Takeaways:

  • Conversations are better expositors than description, especially if there’s an interesting social dynamic between the speakers.
  • Don’t be afraid to start the story without the main character and introduce them later.
  • Worldbuilding is best done by using what’s being introduced. Trinity and Morpheus could have simply described the exits in and out of the Matrix, but instead we watch Trinity racing for the ringing phone and disappearing seconds before the hijacked truck pulverizes it.

 

The Ordinary World

 

Follow the white rabbit (6:35)

We see Neo in his normal life as a lone hacker. His computer screen tells us he’s searching for Morpheus. Trinity makes contact with him through his computer. Some of Neo’s illegal clients arrive and, heeding Trinity’s advice, he goes with them to a club.

  • This part of the story continues to build the world, half with visuals and half with conversation.  The atmosphere and objects in Neo’s apartment tell us a great deal about the character. His conversation with his clients fill in any other necessary details. 

 

Key Takeaways:

  • Half tell, half show seems to be the magic ratio, and any telling is done by conversation. The Wachowskis alternate the exposition style, and just by swapping between visuals and conversations they avoid the dreaded info-dump. This implies that it’s not that hard to avoid obvious info dumps – even two techniques, properly contrasted, are enough.  
  • This scene reveals that Neo is on a quest to find the world of adventure. He doesn’t know that’s what he’s doing, but his search for Morpheus (and an answer to his later question, “What is the Matrix?”) drives him out of the ordinary world. I’ve made note of this as a technique – have the hero searching for something related to the world of adventure (probably without knowing the implications of their search), so that they have a clear motivation for entering the world of adventure when it presents itself.

 

Call to Adventure

 

Trinity, the Herald (9:42)

Neo is brought to a club by his clients. Trinity meets Neo at the club and tantalizes him with cryptic talk of the Matrix and Morpheus

  • In this scene Trinity validates Neo’s questing; she lets him know that he is not alone in hearing the call to adventure, and that there really is a world of adventure which will find him, if he wants it to.
  • Trinity helps the story exposition with rapid fire facts, saying that that Neo lives alone, barely eats, barely sleeps, and so on, all in just a few seconds. This is another use of conversation to convey backstory.
  • (Side note: Trinity manipulated Neo to get him into the club, so I’m not counting the lady with the white rabbit tattoo as a herald.)

 

Key Takeaways:

  • The slow build-up here pays dividends. We don’t get any real information, just a bunch of questions that compels the audience to learn more. This is a good practice at the start of any story: introduce as many questions as possible so that the reader will keep going to discover the answers.

 

Refusal of the Call

Awakened by the Alarm (11:57)

Neo’s alarm wakes him up.

 

Be at your desk (12:05)

Neo is chastised by his boss for arriving late

  • This scene wraps up the other half of Neo’s ordinary world by showing his job at a soulless software company.
  • Just as Joseph Campbell pointed out, the ordinary world seems pointless after Trinity delivers the Call to Adventure.

 

At the office (12:55)

A mysterious phone is delivered to Neo. As soon as he opens the package Morpheus calls and warns Neo that the Agents are coming for him. Morpheus tries to guide Neo out of the building, but Neo loses his nerve and is captured.

  • Sticking with Campbell a moment longer, the Agents are obvious Threshold Guardians.
  • Morpheus’s call to Neo is a comically literal call to adventure, but Neo can’t make the leap of faith that would take him across the first threshold.

 

Led out by the police (16:47)

Neo is put in a car by the Agents and police. Trinity observes this, is noticed by an Agent, and flees with a curse.

 

Unable to speak (17:00)

Agent Smith interrogates Neo and tries to coerce him into helping the Agents catch Morpheus. When Neo refuses, they put a tracking bug in him.

  • This scene is Neo’s punishment for refusing the Call to Adventure.

 

Key Takeaways:

  • While the Ordinary World should get fleshed out early in the story, it’s fine to keep developing it up until the hero crosses the first threshold.
  • This scene followed Joseph Campbell’s description of the Refusal of the Call almost to the letter. I still have doubts about his model for later parts of a hero’s journey, but early on it’s safe to follow the path he laid out.

 

Crossing the First Threshold

 

You are the One Neo (21:32)

Neo wakes up after his interrogation as though it was all just a dream. Morpheus calls him, reveals that Neo is the One, and arranges for them to meet.

 

Brought to Morpheus (22:36)

Trinity and the rest of the Nebuchadnezzar’s crew meet Neo under a bridge and bring him to Morpheus. On the way, they extract the bug the Agents planted

  • This scene has a second, near-refusal of the call. Neo almost gets out of the car when Switch demands he take off his shirt, but Trinity convinces him to stay.

 

He knows more than you can imagine (25:04)

The crew arrives at the building where Morpheus is waiting. Trinity gives Neo advice before the meeting.

  • Throughout the film thus far, the Wachowskis have built the character of Morpheus through brief phone conversations and the comments of other characters. This scene puts the final touches on Morpheus’s pre-meeting mystique

 

Taking the red pill (25:41)

Neo is introduced to Morpheus. Morpheus starts to explain the Matrix and offers Neo a way into the real world. Neo accepts his offer.

  • This scene is more or less pure exposition, but due to Laurence Fishburne’s preternatural charisma one barely notices. Yet again, worldbuilding through conversation saves the day.
  • This is the moment that Neo crosses the first threshold. It’s a good example of a test of conviction – Morpheus repeatedly warns Neo that his decision to take the red pill is irrevocable and offers an easy way for Neo to refuse. Despite this, Neo decides to follow his destiny as the hero.

 

“Kansas is going bye-bye.” (29:51)

Morpheus leads Neo to the next room, where the rest of the crew is preparing for his awakening. The illusion of the Matrix begins to collapse and Neo wakes up in the real world.

 

Waking up (32:26)

Neo wakes up in his pod. He forces his way out and sees the horror of the human-battery fields. A machine comes and ejects him from his pod, after which the Nebuchadnezzar picks him up.

  • In Joseph Campbell’s model for the hero’s journey, this would be the ‘Belly of the Whale’ event.

 

“Welcome . . . to the real world.” (35:02)

Neo is lifted into the Nebuchadnezzar. The crew picks him up, and Morpheus welcomes Neo to the real world.

 

“Why do my eyes hurt?” (35:22)

Morpheus and the crew rebuild Neo’s atrophied body.

  • Through snippets of conversation (are you sensing a theme?) the Wachowskis continue to flesh out the world.

 

“More important than what, is ‘when?’” (36:39)

Neo wakes up in a cabin and discovers the plugs installed across his body. Morpheus arrives and explains that they’re in the far future. He tells Neo to come with him for more answers.

 

“This is my ship, the Nebuchadnezzar.” (37:52)

Morpheus shows Neo around the ship and introduces the crew.

 

Humans are batteries (39:24)

Morpheus brings Neo into a computer program and explains the Matrix. Neo panics and blacks out.

  • Yet more exposition through conversation.

 

“I can’t go back, can I?” (44:23)

Morpheus explains the prophecy of the One, then tells Neo to prepare for his training.

 

Key Takeaways:

  • It’s ok for the hero to doubt their choice more than once. While there should probably be a primary Refusal of the Call, overcoming the main Refusal doesn’t mean all the hero’s fears are assuaged. They may continue to have doubts all the way until they cross the first threshold.  
  • All it takes to make a character mysterious is to have other characters speak highly of them while the audience has little-to-no direct contact.
  • Tests of conviction are an evergreen way to Cross the First Threshold.
  • Conversation is the Swiss army knife of worldbuilding.

 

Supernatural Aid

 

Neo meets Tank (46:36)

Tank introduces himself to Neo and explains the last human city, Zion.

  • Exposition through conv- oh, you get the point.

 

“I know Kung Fu.” (47:53)

Tank uses Neo’s brain-jack to upload martial arts knowledge.

  • Rather than traditional supernatural aid, such as a magic item, Neo is aided by the Nebuchadnezzar’s ability to upload knowledge and skills directly to his mind.

 

“Show me.” (48:46)

Morpheus brings Neo into a sparring program and the two do battle. Through their combat and brief lectures, Morpheus shows Neo how to start bending the reality of the Matrix.

  • This scene shows the audience the supernatural aid Neo received before he has to use it for real. 

 

“Tank, load the Jump program.” (53:33)

Morpheus takes Neo into the Jump program and challenges him to leap between two distant buildings. Morpheus does it himself, proving it’s possible, but when Neo tries he loses faith in himself and falls painfully to the ground.

  • This scene sets an important boundary – Neo’s supernatural aid has made him a badass, but he still has a long way to go before he can defeat the villain and finish his journey.

 

“Everybody falls the first time.” (54:51)

The rest of the crew has been watching Neo’s training with Morpheus. There’s some concern over Neo’s failure to make the jump, but they generally agree that ‘everybody falls the first time.’ When Neo jacks out of the training program he realizes he’s injured, and Morpheus explains that any injuries suffered in the Matrix are also suffered in real life. Neo asks if dying in the Matrix means dying in the real world, and Morpheus confirms.

  • It’s critical for the hero to face consequences for their failures. This scene inflicts a consequence on Neo for failing to make the jump and ensures the audience knows that failure in the Matrix can be lethal.

 

Cypher is a prick (55:36)

Trinity brings Neo food but finds him asleep. Cypher confronts her outside of Neo’s room and tries to sow doubt that Neo is the One, but Trinity decides to trust Morpheus.

 

Probably the best movie scene of the decade (56:31)

Morpheus and Neo walk down a busy street while Morpheus describes the Matrix. Neo is distracted by a woman in a red dress, who turns into an Agent when he looks away. Morpheus freezes the program, revealing that it’s all a training program, and explains that everyone who is still plugged into The Matrix can potentially become an Agent. He tells Neo that it’s impossible for any human to fight against the Agents, but that as the One, he will one day be able to defeat them.

  • I promised myself I wouldn’t mention it again, but I just have to say it: nearly all the exposition in this film is done through conversation and it never once feels forced. Until I discover a better technique, I’m going to make conversation my default mode of worldbuilding.

 

Key Takeaways:

  • It’s fine (perhaps even a best practice) to have the hero’s Supernatural Aid make them a badass. However, one should be careful not to imply they have nothing further to learn. A simple way to accomplish this is to have the character fail a major test shortly after receiving their aid.

 

Tests, Allies and Enemies

 

Sentinels hunt the Nebuchadnezzar (59:00)

In the real world, squid-like machines search for the Nebuchadnezzar. Morpheus hides the ship and Trinity explains to Neo that their only weapon against their pursuers is the EMP. The machines eventually pass them by.

  • This scene is a Chekhov’s gun for the time pressure that the heroes will face later on. Once the audience sees the sentinels hunting the ship, they know that at some point the machines will find it.

 

Neo talks with Cypher (1:01:12)

Neo meets Cypher at the watch station. Cypher quickly hides what he’s been working on and they talk about the Matrix. Cypher admits that he wishes he could go back into the Matrix. Cypher mocks the idea of the One and tells Neo that he should run if he sees an Agent.

 

Cypher meets with Smith (1:03:42)

Cypher and Agent Smith meet in the Matrix. They make a deal where Cypher will betray Morpheus so that he can be re-inserted into the Matrix.

  • This is a type of enemy for the hero to overcome in the Tests, Allies and Enemies part of a story: The Traitor. 
  • The scene evokes clear themes of trading divine grace for temporal pleasure.

 

Eating with the Crew (1:05:15)

Neo eats a meal with the crew. Morpheus interrupts and says he’s bringing Neo to see the Oracle

  • This scene juxtaposes the succulent steak Cypher was just eating in the Matrix with the slop the crew has to eat in the real world.

 

Enter the Matrix (1:07:07)

The crew jacks into the Matrix.

 

Cypher gives away their location (1:07:47)

Cypher makes a call and throws the cell phone into a trash can. This gives away their exit point and allows the machines to set a trap.

  • The Traitor makes his move. At any point before this Cypher could have given up his treachery, but at this moment he becomes irredeemable.

 

Driving through the city (1:08:11)

Our heroes drive through the city on the way to the Oracle’s apartment. On the way Neo reflects on his past life and asks Trinity if she’s spoken to the Oracle. Trinity says she has. Neo asks what the Oracle told her, but they arrive before Trinity can answer.

  • Neo examines his ordinary world from his new perspective in the world of adventure. Not every story will have the hero look back so directly, but there may be moments of reminiscence where the hero remembers where they came from.

 

“I can only show you the door . . .” (1:09:18)

Morpheus and Neo ride the elevator to the Oracle’s apartment. On the way Neo asks about the Oracle and what she told Morpheus. Morpheus says she told him that he would find the One. They arrive at the apartment, and Morpheus tells Neo that he must be the one to open the door.

  • Neo faces another test of resolve. It turns out to be anticlimactic, but he still must choose to move forward. 

 

“There is no spoon” (1:10:40)

The door opens from the inside the moment Neo turns the doorknob. An assistant to the Oracle welcomes Neo and Morpheus and brings them into a surprisingly ordinary apartment. She tells Neo to wait with a group of children who may one day be released from the Matrix.

 

Neo meets the Oracle (1:12:43)

Neo is brought into the Oracle’s kitchen. After some conversation about destiny she tells him that he’s not the One, but Morpheus believes he is so strongly that he will sacrifice himself to save Neo. The Oracle says that Neo will have to choose between his life and Morpheus’s.

  • The Oracle is the first ally Neo encounters who is not a part of the Nebuchadnezzar’s crew. Her prophesy, while misleading, is what ultimately leads him to victory.

 

Leaving the Oracle (1:17:24)

Neo meets Morpheus at the entrance to the Oracle’s apartment. Morpheus tells him not to share the Oracle’s prophesy.

  • The Wachowskis are forced into a bit of damage control here. If Neo had just told Morpheus what the Oracle prophesied then all the later deaths and disasters could have been avoided, yet Morpheus suddenly insists that Neo keep it to himself. It wouldn’t necessarily be a problem, except that Morpheus has already shared his own prophesy and Trinity seemed willing to before they were interrupted. So note to self: when telling a story where the hero must keep a prophesy secret, make sure there’s a good reason for them to do so.

 

The trap is sprung (1:17:49)

Morpheus, Trinity, Neo and Cypher arrive back at the exit point. Cypher seems pleased about something as they get out of the car. Neo experiences deja-vu as they climb the stairs. The crew is alarmed and Trinity explains that deja-vu happens when the machines change something in the Matrix. The crew discovers that all the windows in the building have been replaced by brick. Mouse is killed by SWAT. Morpheus calls Tank and with his help finds them a hiding place inside the walls.

Here’s another challenge for the hero to face: Hiding. When attacked by an overwhelming force, the hero may have no choice but to hole up and hope the danger passes them by.

 

 

“They’re in the walls!” (1:21:25)

Cypher sneezes and reveals their hiding place. An Agent grabs Neo through the wall and Morpheus leaps out to protect him. He orders them all to run while he holds off the Agent. Trinity drags Neo away and they escape into the sewers.

 

Morpheus fights Smith (1:22:44)

Morpheus battles Smith, but despite all his skill is overwhelmed and captured.

  • When mentors face villains, they always lose. Always. But their defeat pushes the hero forward in their journey, so their sacrifice is ultimately worth it. This is another crisis for the hero to face during the Test, Allies and Enemies part of a story: The Mentor Fights The Villain.

 

Cypher calls for an exit (1:25:05)

Cypher calls Tank and asks for an exit point. Tank is suspicious as to why Cypher is not with the others, but gives him the location.

 

Trinity calls for an exit (1:25:31)

Trinity calls Tank. Neo asks if Morpheus is still alive and Tank confirms he is. Tank gives them the same exit point he just gave Cypher.

 

Cypher’s betrayal (1:25:46)

Cypher arrives at the exit point first and returns to the real world. He gets a weapon, incapacitates Tank, and kills Dozer.

 

At the mercy of a madman (1:26:39)

Neo tries to exit the Matrix but the line goes dead. Trinity calls the ship and Cypher answers. Cypher rants about his grievances, real and imagined. He starts pulling the plug on the other crew members, killing them one by one. He’s about to kill Neo when Tank intervenes and kills him.

  • Not all forms of torture involve physical pain inflicted on the hero. While it takes an indirect form (watching his friends be killed one by one), this scene is another challenge for the hero to face: Tortured!

 

Leaving the Matrix (1:30:52)

Tank re-establishes their exit and Trinity returns to the real world. (We don’t see Neo leave, but it’s implied.)

 

Morpheus’s interrogation begins (1:31:27)

Morpheus is handcuffed to a chair while Smith monologues about a previous form of the Matrix and human psychology. Another Agent injects Morpheus with a truth drug.

  • Here we find the last of the challenges in the Tests, Allies and Enemies part of The Matrix: A Captured Friend. Someone the hero cares about has been taken by the villain, and the hero must go and rescue them.

 

A terrible choice (1:33:31)

Aboard the Nebuchadnezzar, Tank explains how the truth drug works. He tells Neo that Morpheus has the access codes to Zion’s mainframe computer, and if an Agent got the codes they could destroy all of humanity. Tank says that they have no choice but to unplug Morpheus before that happens.

 

The Agents converse (1:34:27)

The Agents realize that Cypher is dead. They don’t know if he managed to kill the crew of the Nebuchadnezzar before he died, but because they can’t change the situation either way they decide to continue with their plan.

 

Key Takeaways:

  • If it’s worth doing once, it’s worth doing a lot. Neo has to repeatedly prove his determination to move forward on the hero’s journey, and the audience loves him for it
  • Related to the above, Neo is constantly tested through choices. Does he meet with Morpheus? Does he take the red pill? Does he sacrifice Morpheus to protect himself? This suggests that a powerful technique for showing a hero’s virtue is to force them to make a series of difficult decisions
  • I don’t buy all of Campbell’s archetypal symbolism, but it’s hard to ignore the blatant themes evoked when Cypher trades his freedom for worldly pleasure.
  • We can add three types of challenges to our toolbox: Hiding, Tortured!, and A Captured Friend. We also have an ally, The Oracle, and an enemy, The Traitor.

 

Approach to the Inmost Cave

 

Neo chooses (1:34:36)

Tank is reluctantly preparing to unplug Morpheus when Neo interrupts him. He tells Tank and Trinity about the Oracle’s prophecy and that he’s not the One. Trinity says that can’t be true, but when Neo questions her she won’t say why. Neo and Trinity jack back into the Matrix to save Morpheus.

  • Neo’s Approach to the Inmost Cave begins with, you guessed it, a choice.

 

Humans are a virus (1:37:25)

Agent Smith taunts Morpheus with his perception of humanity as a virus.

  • For some reason villains are always more vivid and memorable that the often bland heroes whom they serve as foils. Smith is no exception.

 

“We need guns. Lots of guns.” (1:38:43)

Inside the loading program, Neo asks for lots of guns and Tank delivers. Trinity tells Neo that no one has ever attempted a direct attack against the machines, and Neo says that’s why it’s going to work.

 

Smith interrogates Morpheus (1:39:12)

Smith sends the other two Agents away so that he can question Morpheus alone. He reveals that he hates being in the Matrix and says that he’s going to kill Morpheus if Morpheus doesn’t give him the codes.

  • This scene reveals that Smith, far from the cold inhumanity that characterizes the other Agents, is actually somewhat unhinged. This helps put more time pressure on the heroes – even if Morpheus doesn’t break under the interrogation, Smith might snap and kill him.

 

Key Takeaways:

  • The Approach to the Inmost Cave preps the audience for the upcoming Ordeal. Every scene in this part of The Matrix puts time pressure on the heroes and builds anticipation for what comes next
  • The Approach to the Inmost Cave is a good place for the Big Bad to put on a show of villainy before their forthcoming downfall.

 

The Ordeal

 

The lobby shootout (1:41:04)

Neo and Trinity get in an enormous gunfight with the police and SWAT forces protecting the building that holds Morpheus.

  • If you’ve somehow never seen this scene before- stop reading, open YouTube, and go watch it.

 

“I think they’re trying to save him.” (1:44:20)

The other two Agents interrupt Smith’s interrogation. Trinity and Neo set up a bomb in the elevator. The Agents tell Smith that the crew is trying to save Morpheus. Trinity and Neo cut the elevator cable and ride it to the top of the building while their bomb falls back down to the first floor. The bomb goes off, setting off the sprinkler system, and Smith tells the other Agents to find and destroy the attackers.

 

Neo dodges bullets (1:45:54)

Trinity and Neo neutralize the SWAT team on the roof. One of the SWAT team is possessed by an Agent, who confronts Neo. Neo tries to shoot him, but the Agent dodges the bullets. The Agent shoots back and Neo manages to evade all of the bullets except for one, which grazes him and breaks his concentration. The Agent stands over Neo and is about to shoot him when Trinity shoots the Agent from point-blank range. She asks Neo how he was able to dodge bullets like the Agents and he gives a non-answer. Trinity downloads a pilot program from Tank and she and Neo steal the SWAT team’s helicopter.

  • This is an important middle step in Neo’s development. The upload training is his first step towards defeating the villain, but it’s not sufficient on its own. It would be jarring for him to move directly from his training to defeating Smith, so the scene gives him another challenge to overcome on his way towards beating the Big Bad.

 

Saving Morpheus (1:47:45)

Trinity and Neo fly the helicopter to the floor where Morpheus is being kept and use a minigun to kill the three Agents guarding him. Morpheus breaks out of his handcuffs and runs for the helicopter, but the three Agents have taken new bodies and shoot him in the knee just before the jump. Neo leaps out (with a cord tying him to the helicopter) and catches Morpheus. Smith shoots the helicopter and it begins to crash.

  • I’m still not certain why the Ordeal always comes before the Showdown with the Villain, but for some reason it does. There’s no real reason that Neo has to battle Smith in the subway. The subway scene is fun, sure, and their fight is more flashy as a one-on-one duel, but it would have made just as much sense for Neo to battle the Agents on his way to save Morpheus. Yet this doesn’t happen. The Ordeal is kept separate and distinct from the Showdown with the Villain, and until I have a better grasp on why I’m just going to make sure to follow that rule.

 

Saving Trinity (1:50:46)

Neo drops Morpheus on a rooftop and lands a short distance away. He realizes that Trinity is still inside the crashing helicopter and prepares to try to catch the entire vehicle using the cord still tied around his waist. Trinity cuts the cord free and uses it to swing away from the helicopter just before it crashes. Tank says that Neo is the One, and Neo pulls Trinity up to safety.

 

Key Takeaways:

  • The hero’s development should have at least three steps. First they’re trained, then they must use their training, and finally they defeat the villain.
  • The Ordeal should push the hero to his limits (and even a bit beyond them), but it does not involve the hero directly confronting the villain
  • Movement is good for action. This battle does not get bogged down in one place; first there’s the lobby, then the elevator, then rooftop, then minigunning from the helicopter, and finally the helicopter crash. To keep the action fresh make sure that the battle moves over time.

 

The Reward

Knowing the path, and walking the path (1:51:38)

At last, Morpheus, Neo and Trinity are all safe. Neo and Trinity exchange a long, passionate look after he pulls her onto the roof. Morpheus asks Trinity if she believes that Neo is the One, and Neo asks Morpheus about the Oracle’s false prophecy. Morpheus explains that the Oracle only told him what he needed to hear.

 

Key Takeaways

  • Trinity is far from a damsel in distress. Still, I can’t help but notice that before the end of his hero’s journey, Neo has to save his one true love.
  • If the story involves a prophesy, it can be more interesting when the prophesy is false, or even a lie.

 

Showdown with the Villain

 

Escaping after the raid (1:52:16)

Morpheus calls Tank and gets an exit location.

 

Ordering the Sentinels to attack (1:52:26)

The three Agents find the discarded remains of our heroes’ gear. One says that the Sentinels have located the Nebuchadnezzar and orders them to attack the ship. Agent Smith realizes that the heroes must still be in the Matrix.

 

In the subway (1:52:56)

Our heroes arrive at the exit location – a payphone in the subway. Morpheus exits, but a homeless man sees him disappear and Agent Smith is alerted. Trinity is about to tell Neo what the Oracle prophesied for her when a train drives through the station and drowns out her words. She decides to exit the Matrix rather than finish and gets out just before Agent Smith shoots her. His bullet destroys the phone, trapping Neo in the Matrix.

 

“He’s beginning to believe.” (1:54:22)

Neo could flee, but decides to stay and fight. Neo and Smith have a ferocious battle. Smith gradually starts to win and decides to kill Neo by holding him in front of an oncoming train. Neo manages to get free and leaps out of the way. Smith is hit by the train.

  • Neo faces two more tests of resolve: first when he decides to stay and fight, and second when he stands up and shakes off the dust after being downed by Smith.
  • Smith is killed by his own arrogance, not Neo’s battle prowess.
  • Smith has always called Neo by the name he was born with, Mr. Anderson. In this scene Neo repudiates that name and embraces his identity as the hero.

 

Key Takeaways:

  • The battle between Neo and Agent Smith is a masterclass on how to do a Showdown with the Villain. We should make special note of each of these elements:
    1. Neo stays and fights when he had the option to run away
    2. Neo shows grit and determination despite battling a superior opponent
    3. Smith is certain he’s invincible, and Neo uses his arrogance to defeat him
    4. Through this battle Neo gives up his old self and embraces his identity as a hero

 

The Road Back

 

Running from the Agents (1:58:39)

Neo’s victory is short lived – Agent Smith takes a new body aboard the train and stops it. Neo has to run.

  • In Joseph Campbell’s model, this marks the start of the Magic Flight

 

The Sentinels approach (1:58:48)

The Sentinels find the Nebuchadnezzar, leaving Neo only a few minutes to get out of the Matrix before they destroy the ship. Morpheus charges the EMP, but can’t use it while Neo is still jacked in.

  • Image result for the tension is terrible, i hope it'll last

 

“Mr. Wizard, get me the hell out of here!” (1:59:23)

Neo steals a phone and calls Tank, who gives him an exit location. With Tank guiding him Neo flees through streets and buildings, trying to escape the pursuing Agents.

 

The Sentinels arrive (2:00:58)

The Sentinels reach the Nebuchadnezzar and begin cutting through the hull. Morpheus prepares to set off the EMP and reassures Trinity that Neo is going to make it.

 

Back where it all started (2:01:34)

The exit is in the same building where the Agents found Trinity at the start of the movie. Smith realizes this and splits off from the other two Agents. Tank gives Neo the room number for the exit and Neo runs for it.

 

The Sentinels breach the hull (2:02:11)

The Sentinels finish cutting their way into the Nebuchadnezzar and begin wreaking havoc inside.

 

Key Takeaways:

  • This is an almost perfect example of The Magic Flight in Joseph Campbell’s model for a hero’s journey. Our hero Neo has to run like hell from an enraged god and escape back to his (new) ordinary world.
  • This escape scene is all about the time pressure. If we want to have a similarly dramatic Road Back in our own stories, we need to make sure that the hero is racing against the clock.

 

The Resurrection

 

Neo’s death (2:02:28)

Neo reaches the exit, but Smith got there first. Smith shoots him repeatedly and Neo’s heart stops. Trinity and Morpheus look on in horror. The other two Agents arrive and confirm that Neo is dead.

 

The Power of Love and . . . well, just Love (2:03:17)

The Sentinels continue to destroy the Nebuchadnezzar. Trinity tells Neo’s lifeless body that the Oracle told her she would fall in love, and that the man she loved would be the One. She says that Neo can’t be dead, because she loves him. She kisses him and his heart starts beating. When she sees this, she orders him to get up.

 

When you’re ready, you won’t have to (2:04:55)

Back in the Matrix, Neo gets to his feet. The Agents see this and all try to shoot him at once, but with a wave of his hand he freezes the bullets in the air. Neo now sees the Matrix in its raw code. Smith attacks Neo and Neo defeats him effortlessly. He leaps inside of Smith’s body and destroys him from the inside out. The other two Agents flee.

 

In the nick of time (2:06:55)

Back in the real world, the Sentinels have reached the crew. Trinity shouts for Neo and he rushes to the exit phone. A Sentinel is just about to kill Neo when Morpheus triggers the EMP. The machines drop lifelessly the ground. Neo wakes up and kisses Trinity.

 

Key Takeaways:

  • Despite all the (often justified) criticisms of his work, Joseph Campbell was onto something when he said that heroes grow through death and rebirth. The Matrix is a particularly telling example because Neo’s resurrection appears to be totally incongruent with the rest of the film, if you view the film as dystopian cyberpunk. A kiss brings the hero back from the dead? Come on, what fantasy garbage is this? And yet there’s scarcely a peep of complaint from the audience, because in the context of the hero’s journey, Neo’s miraculous rebirth is completely appropriate.

 

Return with the Elixir

 

System Failure (2:07:53)

Neo calls the machines. Like in the beginning of the film the machines try to trace the call, but are met with a sudden system failure. Neo says that he’s going to set humanity free from the machine’s control.

 

Key Takeaways:

  • A minimalist Return with the Elixir seems to be a hallmark of modern stories. Neo doesn’t get a grand feast, or an awards ceremony where everyone gets a medal but the Wookie. We’re left with nothing but hope for a better world, and yet somehow that’s still enough.

The Starting Line

Ready or not, the day has come – there are only 200 days left to achieve my goal of completing a 100,000 word novel by the February 25th, 2019.

Today is important because it marks an unofficial start date. If I’m to reach my goal, I need to start writing 500 words a day, every day, until I reach the finish line. Writing more will soften this deadline somewhat, but the race has definitely started, and it seems as good a time as any to review my progress thus far.

First, the good. I’ve finished The Hero with a Thousand Faces, and while reading Campbell was often an exasperating experience,  I have a grasp on the hero’s journey that was sorely lacking in my projects of years gone by. My grip on the subject grew firmer still by contrasting Campbell’s work with Christopher Vogler’s. The theoretical parts of my project, at least, seem under control.

I’ve analyzed the first Star Wars film, as well as Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone and much of The Hobbit. I learned a great deal from these masterworks, and the pages of notes I took on each wait restlessly for the day they’ll be turned into blog posts.

Outside of the blog, I’ve built a durable storyboard of the novel I’ll be writing. There are still a few unresolved questions and plot points to hammer out, but I have more than enough to start.

Now for the bad. As mentioned, while I have reviewed several of the great Hero’s Journey stories, I have not yet taken the time to smelt my raw material into content for the blog. This is not just a problem as a content creator  – the process of writing an essay helps solidify knowledge and expose gaps in understanding, so I want to complete these analyses before getting too far into my project.

An even greater problem is the shamefully small amount of time I’ve spent applying the practice techniques detailed at the start of the blog. This may turn out to be a boon, since in the meantime I’ve discovered several writers of literary fiction whose mastery of English is vastly superior to some of the authors I considered studying, but I’m still perilously behind where I wanted to be. I can only hope that any improvements in writing technique achieved during the final months of the project can be applied through edits.

Finally, my recent trip to Nigeria was both enriching and enlightening, but I didn’t get any work done. I hope to at least slightly make up for this lapse by releasing the Hero’s Journey toolbox as soon as possible. It’s been coming together quickly since my return, so with any luck it will be ready in the next couple weeks.

And that brings us to the heart of my next challenge. I’ve written three (unpublishable) novels of 100,000 words or more at the slow-but-steady rate of 500 words a day, but never while trying to simultaneously maintain a blog. “Does that mean,” you may ask, “that your already languid rate of posting will decrease even further?” Not if I have anything to say about it. The challenge of doing it is the point of doing it, and so, to appropriate a line, “Damn the distractions, full speed ahead!”

The Staring Line: Here we go!

Now that I’ve laid out the theory of deliberate practice, it’s time to make some concrete plans. To get started, I need to decide two things:

  1. What are the specific goals I’m aiming for?
  2. Who are the expert performers that I’m going to study?

In general, I enjoy science fiction, fantasy, and horror in that order. Because of this I’m going to focus on authors from those genres, but genre isn’t a specific enough goal for deliberate practice. Altered Carbon and The Martian are two of my favorite recent books and both are science fiction, but they have about as much in common as airplanes and helicopters.

So instead of focusing on genre, I’m going to work on a type of story. Given that this is my first attempt to learn a story type, I figure I’ll start with something ubiquitous, that everyone knows and almost everyone uses. With that in mind, the type of story I’ve decided to work on first is the original, the classic, the story-that-began-all-stories, the Hero’s Journey.

With that decision, a number of questions are immediately answered. Which authors have written the best hero’s journeys? Two names leap to mind: J.K. Rowling and J.R.R. Tolkien. If I expand the question to film, George Lucas and the Wachowski brothers join the team. There’s also an academic and psychological breakdown of the story type in Joseph Campbell’s The Hero with a Thousand Faces. I’ll use these five resources as my starting point and expand from there.

But this plan still isn’t solid enough. Remember: “Deliberate practice focuses on specific goals and develops lesson plans to reach them bit by bit.” So how about this: first, I’m going to focus on mastering the structure of the story. I’ll analyze my four primary sources and Joseph Campbell’s work, then use what I learned to lay out the general path of the hero’s journey.

Then, after I’ve gotten a good handle on the key story events, I’ll pick the best example of each event from my pool of primary sources. Once I’ve chosen my exemplars I’ll use Benjamin Franklin’s hints exercise to examine how the author handled the scene and simultaneously study their writing style. I’ll repeat as needed with examples from the each author’s work until I feel confident enough to try applying what I’ve learned in an original novel.

And that’s the endgame. Within the next 12 months, I’ll write an original hero’s journey story of at least 100,000 words.

The average novel has between 80,000 and 140,000 words, so I think 100,000 is an appropriate target. In the past my goal was to write 500 words a day, a number I deliberately kept low to ensure I wouldn’t get overwhelmed. I found it’s much easier to aim for a low target and routinely surpass it than to set a high goal I couldn’t consistently reach.

500 words a day gets me to 100,000 words in a bit more than seven months. If I manage 1,000 words a day I’ll finish in slightly more than three months. That means I’ll have at least five and perhaps up to six or seven months for studying, after which I need to start hitting word count goals. I’ll also need to carve out time for writing posts on the Practice Write blog while maintaining a job and hopefully having some occasional free time for a life. I’ve found that editing can stretch on and on almost without end (especially if I deliberately take some time to cool off from a story) so I’m not going to include it in my 12 month goal.  

It’s a brisk pace, but it seems doable. So that’s the plan: by the 25th of February, 2019, I’ll have analyzed and studied at least (in reality, definitely more than) 4 hero’s journey stories, built a mental representation of how the story works, and written an original hero’s journey novel of at least 100,000 words.

Gauntlet thrown. Let’s get to it.

Practice: What to do During the Montage

All right, things are starting to come together. We’ve figured out what makes deliberate practice different from the normal author’s path. We’ve started analyzing the work of expert writers and learned how we improve skills through mental representations. We have a blank sheet of paper or a new Word document, and we’re ready to practice.

Now what?

Unlike well-established fields like sports or music, there are no widely accepted practice techniques for writing. That means it’s up to us to figure out what works, and a major part of this blog will be testing different exercises and posting the results.

Fortunately, we don’t have to start entirely from scratch. Anders Ericsson’s research has identified three elements that are critical for any practice to be effective. He incorporated them into deliberate practice, and says:

  1. Deliberate practice focuses on specific goals and develops lesson plans to reach them bit by bit.
  2. Deliberate practice pushes you beyond your current abilities.
  3. Deliberate practice takes focus.

Dr. Ericsson details why these elements are important in chapter 2 of Peak, so if you want the full scientific explanation I’d recommend starting there. But for now, the short and simple version is this: the human brain is highly adaptive and reacts to the pressures placed on it. To improve a skill, you need to pressure your brain enough that it has to change to accommodate the new strain.

Why do you need specific goals? Because without a goal you’re not driving your brain to adjust in any particular way. The practice has to push beyond your current abilities because over time your brain gets used to performing at a certain level. To keep improving you have to break out of the plateau. Finally, if you’re not really focusing on the task at hand, your brain is not under pressure and won’t need to make adjustments.

So with these three elements in mind, what are we actually going to do to practice? We’ll start by looking at a case where a man succeeded in becoming a great writer through practice: the story of Benjamin Franklin.

 

Benjamin Franklin Learns to Write:

Anders Ericsson explains how Benjamin Franklin learned to write starting on page 155 of Peak.  But Benjamin Franklin himself tells the story in chapter 2 of his autobiography, which happens to be available for free online. Since we all have access to the source material, I’ll be working from the autobiography.

The story starts like this. Franklin bought a copy of the Spectator, a London journal of satirical and political essays. After reading it, he says,

I thought the writing excellent, and wished, if possible, to imitate it. With this view I took some of the papers, and, making short hints of the sentiment in each sentence, laid them by a few days, and then, without looking at the book, try’d to compleat the papers again, by expressing each hinted sentiment at length, and as fully as it had been expressed before, in any suitable words that should come to hand. Then I compared my Spectator with the original, discovered some of my faults, and corrected them.

This is the first practice technique I’ll try, which for the sake of convenience I’m calling the Hints Exercise. When I find a particularly excellent scene, description, conversation, or any other piece of a story, I’ll write myself short notes about each part of it. Then, after a few days without looking at my notes, I’ll use them to try to recreate what I studied. When I’m finished I’ll compare my work to the original and make corrections as needed.

Benjamin Franklin used the hints exercise to improve his writing technique, but I’m also going to try using it for studying plot. Trying to rewrite an entire story would be absurdly time consuming, so I’ll start by writing a summary the book or movie that I want to study, making sure to include all the key events in the plot. I’ll write my hints based on the summary, and after a few days I’ll use the hints to reconstruct the plotline. I’ll compare my reconstruction to my summary, make any corrections, and repeat.

As a side note, you may notice that Benjamin Franklin’s approach includes elements of deliberate practice beyond the three we’re looking at in this post. Specifically, he found experts to emulate, spent time analyzing what made those experts successful, and worked to improve specific areas of weakness. While a lot of the terminology surrounding deliberate practice is fairly new, I find it reassuring that Franklin was applying the core ideas as far back as the 1700’s.

Back to the text:

I also sometimes jumbled my collections of hints into confusion, and after some weeks endeavored to reduce them into the best order, before I began to form the full sentences and compleat the paper. This was to teach me method in the arrangement of thoughts.

This is the second practice technique I’ll use, which I’m calling the Structure Exercise. Just like Franklin says, I’ll jumble up the notes I took for the hints exercise, then try to put them back in order. If I get the order wrong, I’ll note the mistakes and keep trying until I can successfully recreate the structure of the original work.

This technique may seem like simple memorization, and some people may be tempted to skip it under the assumption that they can always just refer back to their notes. For example, after identifying the 14 key events in a good romance plot, they could simply keep their notes handy while writing and make sure their story hits the events in the right order.

I think this would be a major mistake. Our goal is not simply to mimic the structure of great writing, it’s to understand why that structure helped make the writing great. Writing is fundamentally about communicating ideas to another human being, and a critical part of that is organizing our thoughts in a way that’s easy to understand. By internalizing the writing and plot structures used by many different authors we’ll learn how successful writers organize their work. Over time, we’ll figure out what parts of the structures are universal and what are simply a matter of taste. When we know that, we’re well on the way to mastery. 

 

One More Technique:

Along with Franklin’s techniques I’m going to try one other exercise. It is:

 

The Storyboarding Exercise: After I’ve analyzed a number of different stories that all follow the same general arc (for example, a series of mysteries) I’ll outline their overall structure and write a number of story summaries which all adhere to it. I’ll write these summaries rapidly and in a fairly short period – say, one a day for a month. The goal of the exercise is threefold: to brainstorm many different story ideas, to drive home a successful story structure, and to force myself to create entire plotlines rather than just collections of scenes.

The storyboards can vary tremendously in characters, setting, and so on, as long as they follow the outline. Note: I’m not advocating writing a book that simply copies the events in other novels. Most likely none of these storyboards would be interesting as full length novels without a number of changes to pull them away from pure formula. Instead, my goal is to master the formulas and keep them as baselines – building blocks I can work from later while creating something unique.

 

From Franklin to Deliberate Practice:

Now that I’ve laid out the 3 practice techniques I’ll be starting with – the Hints, Structure, and Storyboarding exercises – let’s take a moment to make sure they have the three elements of deliberate practice I mentioned at the beginning of this post. As a reminder, the elements are:

  • Deliberate practice focuses on specific goals and develops lesson plans to reach them bit by bit.
  • Deliberate practice pushes you beyond your current abilities.
  • Deliberate practice takes focus.

The hints exercise has all three in spades. The specific goal is clear: to imitate the writing or plotline that I’m studying, and the constant comparisons with an original work should make it easy to track incremental improvements. So long as the writer I’m studying is better than I am (hardly difficult at this point), the exercise will by definition push me past my current abilities. Finally, striving to match the skill of a better writer will almost certainly take all my focus.  

For the structure exercise, I think this type of practice will be most useful when I’m first starting to study how great writers organize their work. It has a clear goal and takes focus, but as I memorize the common patterns it will probably stop regularly pushing me beyond my current abilities. But by then it will have served its purpose, and I’ll bring it back out any time I encounter a particularly unique piece of storytelling.

Finally, the storyboarding exercise. This exercise has a specific goal: learning to create many different stories while following a successful outline, and I should be able to tell if I’m improving over time simply by how hard it is to come up with a new story each day. If it gets easier over time – and the quality of the story summaries doesn’t noticeably decrease – it’s a good indication I’m getting better. There may come a day when the exercise no longer takes much focus or pushes me beyond my current abilities, but if I’m truly coming up with a unique story for each iteration, I suspect that time is a long ways off.

As I discover or create practice techniques that meet the requirements for deliberate practice I’ll try them out and post the results. But with just these three exercises I’ve got a huge amount of work to do, so I’m not in any hurry. I’m aiming to start regular writing practice in the next few weeks, but before that there’s still two more parts of deliberate practice that we need to discuss. The next post will focus on how we’ll get feedback. See you then.